Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, October 4, 2015

Nostalgia

This morning i was looking back on old photos and felt such a strong feeling of nostalgia.


The past seemed so good and looking back on photos where the smile is true and i was in a happy place and i begin to think, will i ever feel that happiness again. Not force a smile or feel that even if i laugh or smile there is this sadness dragging me back down. That even if i have a few moments of relief, of happiness i am soon brought back to reality. Sometimes it feels like this is forever, that this state of feeling and emotions wont ever pass. But then i remind myself that 1) My current situation is not my final destiation and 2)I have been through this before. I can feel happy again. I will feel happy again. The smile on my face will be real one day and there will be a sparkle in my eyes again. I wont feel guilty for feeling happy or feel like i am forcing a laugh or worrying about how long the "relief" will last.

Anyway, this was a sort of negative post, so i will lighten things up a bit and tell you about my weird night. I could not get comfortable at all yesterday, i felt tired but not really. Eventually however i fell asleep but sometime during the night i think i threw my pillow on the ground and then screamed "no" or "oh no" and my boyfriend asked me what was wrong and i just laughed (still asleep so only half remember this). Then sometime later i wake up and realise i have no pillow and dont know where mine is, but then when my boyfriend got up he found my pillow on the ground and we were both equally confused as to what happened. I cant even remember what i was dreaming... but apparently something crazy if i feel the need to throw my pillow and say "no/oh no" hahahha.





8 comments:

  1. I'm longing for you for it to pass, too.
    With the photos, though ... one day I think you will look back from a happier place on the ones with the forced smile, and be proud of yourself for fighting and staying the course. You are strong and good and kind...

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    1. Thank you and you are very right. <3

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  2. i noticed you havent posted any selife pictures in a while. is that because yu feel sad? or because of body image?

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    1. I havent noticed this, haha... but i havent really taken so many selfies XD When you are feeling low, then you dont really feel like saving that memory or taking photos of yourself.

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  3. I know how hard it can be everyday to keep up positivity and especially in such situations when nostalgia hits in :( but keep your head up Izzy, time will pass and things WILL get better -> it just needs some time :)
    I also hate seeing old pics of me and thinking like OMG I did have such a great time there and now I have an ED which keeps me in a silly harmful circle :( but as you always say in your blog, spread positivity and it will also happen to you ;)
    Hope you are fine hun <3
    xxx Ange

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    1. Thank you. Exactly, but like you say things can get better, and know that YOU can recover. You can get back to a place of healthiness and happiness and then you will feel so much better and when you look back on your past you can be proud of how far you have come. Stay strong.

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  4. I m so sorry that you feel this way. I hope that you ll soon fell better

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