Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Monday, October 12, 2015

More about me

Who am I?

 I am the silent girl, the one who doesnt stand out in a group or crowd. The girl who can often seem shy in the beginning and can easily be forgotten. I am the girl who can look very focused when just sitting and thinking or i can look sort of blank in the eyes as i am sitting and dreaming myself away or just thinking about other things. I might not make the best first impression as i apparently have "resting bitch face" and i am not the person to make the most noise in a group. I prefer to stay sort of silent, and speak when i have something to add. But once people get to know me and i get comfortable with people, then i am not at all like the first impression. Then i tell jokes, i am very sarcastic and have a sense of humor. I can do alot of talking and loving talking about lots of things, but i love deep conversations and i despise negativity and people who comment and judge others. I am very open to everyone and rarely judge people, i believe that everyone has a choice and so even if other people judge others, i dont judge them.... as that is the persons choice. But i prefer when people are positive and uplifting. I love learning new things whether its about planets, how to drive, how to solve a puzzle or riddle or how to plant flowers. It is interesting to learn new things and new facts and i dont mind when people correct my mistakes. For example if i say something wrong or say a wrong fact, i dont mind being corrected as long as people arent rude about it. I like listening and helping people and giving advice, i like analyzing people (but not in a judgemental way) but seeing how people move and react, what they say and how people act in different situations. Such as some people when they are nervous they fidget and move around alot, or they constantly touch their hair or lick their lips, while others become very hyper and put on this fake confidence and are very loud to try to hide their nervousness. Those things fascinate me. The human body also fascinates me, how clever it is.... both the insides and the outsides. I love learning about the human body, the cells and the organs, how things work and how the body is always trying to repair itself and keep a person alive. How quickly it adapts to all changes, it is pretty amazing. I like to sit and think alot and i dont mind sitting in silence. I dont find silence awkward, it just gives me time to think and i dont feel the need to always fill space and silence with words. Infact i enjoy just sitting in silence with people who i am close to. Whether we just sit on our phones, or for example i can sit and write while my boyfriend plays computer games and we are both silent but we know that we have each others company and sometimes we sare a glance and a smile just to see how the other one is doing but can just enjoy doing our own thing but also spending time with each other. Some might find that strange, but i dont mind that, its nice to know that you can do your own thing but at the same time spend time with others.

I am someone who always needs my own space. I cant be around people for too long, it drains my energy even if i have alot of fun. I need time to just be by myself, listen to some music or go for a walk, take time for myself. It is my way of recharging my batteries and regaining energy. I am not someone who cares much for hair or beauty products, i am not so good at taking care of my skin or hair and my make up is basically concealer and mascara. But i am amazed by people who are good at make up, like my sister for example. Those just arent my interests though and i dont have time for those things, but i think it is pretty amazing! I am rather forgetful when it comes to things such as taking medicine, so i often rely on reminders and apps to tell me to take my medicine and that works well for me.

My interests are working out/exercise, nutrition and helping others. They are my biggest hobbies and what i want to work with in the future, but i also enjoy baking, taking photos, writing. When i was younger i wrote alot of stories, i wanted to be an author and i would be up late at night writing on my stories and i had several unfinished stories with anything from 50-150 A4 pages written. But i was never satisfied, i was never happy with what i had written even if my family and friends told me it was good. However all those stories are gone now as my computer broke and i had never backed up my images and documents, so that is a pity. Now i dont write stories, but i write on my blog and i like that, hence why i continue to blog each day. I am someone who is very focused on goals and reaching goals, they keep me motivated and without them i wouldnt do much. I need goals in my life to keep me going and also need rewards as a sort of motivation.

I am not someone who is materialistic, infact i could easily give away 80% of my stuff and not worry so much. But i do have an attachment to my phone, computer and workout clothes/shoes. Those things are important for me, but the rest i could give away. I am not someone who would complain if i have to sleep on the floor or had no items or clothing, those things are very materialistic to me and i dont think its good to be too attached to things. But i am very attached to my phone, but that is because of social media. I am an avid lover of social media even if it has its pros and cons. I am the worst at replying to messages i get and it can take anywhere from 3days to 2 weeks to get a reply from me at times.... its usually because if i dont have time to reply when i get the message theni  will try to keep the notification on my phone, but if the notification disappears then i forget to reply. Also the fact that i usually mentally reply to messages and forget that i need to physically reply as well... the whole point is that the person gets the reply, not that i have mentally replied/know what i am going to write.

I sometimes do stupid and spontaneous things. Sometimes they turn out good, sometimes they turn out bad. But i dont always think over things i do and say yes to things without thinking about the pros and cons. I struggle to say no to things i.e if someone asks me to do something i most often say yes or dont say anything at all because i cant say no... so this sometimes means that i end up with lots of things to do because i couldnt say no, or means that i do things which i didnt really want to do because i couldnt say no.

If i were to say that i have one materialistic obsession, apart from my phone i would say shoes. They are one of my weaknesses and at times when i am away for a weekend i can have a total of 4-5 shoes with me. I love shoes and can wear 3-5 different shoes in a day (this includes running and gym shoes). I am very self conscious about my voice and have had times where i have stopped talking for a few days because I have been so self conscious about my voice. I also dont like my face and my nose and sometimes can feel extremely bad when i see a close up of my face, but i am still working on those things. I love to change hair colour though i havent changed hair colour in the past few years because i like being blonde and it is very hard to go back to being blonde once you have been a darker colour, but i am considering going brown or something maybe for winter.

I love animals and dogs. I love chocolate, salad and salted nuts. I love vegetables and fruit and coffee. I love being on my own, i love writing, i love helping others, i love sitting in cafes, i love brunches and buffets. I love gyms, running and walking. I love long conversations with people. I love laughing and love my long hair. I love lazy days and series but i also love active days and doing lots of things. I love learning new things and love doing new things. I love adventures and spontaneity, but i also love having days planned and under control. I love summer and sunshine, i love travelling and trying new food. I love seeing new things and doing new things.


So who am I? This is who i am.... my hobbies and interests. The small things that make me ME. This was a little self analysis (ok, a very long one.... but once i started writing i couldnt stop). This might give you another picture of me and who I am.

I suggest that maybe you do the same thing about yourself... who are YOU, not your illness... but who are YOU. What do you enjoy, what makes you YOU, what makes you special and unique?



7 comments:

  1. i love this post! thank you, Izzy.
    btw, i am really surprised that you don't like your face or nose! you are very pretty
    but the inside is more important anyway and it is lovely when you share that too,
    thank you for your warm heart and your openness and your writing

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    1. Naaw thank you :) I guess everyone has their insecurities. .. or maybe not, those people are lucky!

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  2. ps who told you you have a "resting bitch face"? you mentioned it before in another post. do you think it is really true, or is it just one of those things that one person thinks that then plays on your mind? if you do have that look, then it never shows up on your photos. <3 x.

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    1. Haha, I personally think I have it and my sister likes to say I have permanent birch face. XD in photos I try to smile but when photos are taken and I'm really irritated or angry then I don't look the same! !

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  3. Of course it's your own personal choice but I think blonde suits you. x

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    1. Thank you :) I prefer blonde but I like changing my hair colour :)

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  4. Wow, just wanted to thank you so much for this post ;) It is so wonderfully honest and open, and I think you are such an adorable person and a true friend :) So you can be so proud of who you really are and this is amazing :)
    I really enjoyed reading this post so much, because it sounds like it really is so much YOU :) Thanks so much :)
    xxx

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