Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, October 31, 2015

How to move on from your meal and not feel guilty

I was asked if i could write a post about how to move on from a meal and not feel guilty or compensate over it later. And i have been thinking about what to write, what advice to give... because in the end, no amount of distractions help this. Because you can not distract yourself 24//7, sometimes your thoughts wander... and sometimes they wander to previous meals you have had, For example while i was sick, sometimes the guilt and anxiety would hit me 2 days later when i began thinking about the meal and then i would compensate because i felt guilty... even though i had eaten the fear food or "extra" 2 days ago.

When it comes to following a meal plan it is a little easier, as you can then remind yourself that what you are eating is what your body needs. Like a cake... one meal is one slice of the cake and your aim is to eat the whole cake so its divided into 6 slices and each meal is one slice and by the end of the day you have eaten enough. (Maybe a bad reference... but i hope you get it): But when it comes to eating freely one of the things which seems most scary is eating too much. Or you have this fear that certain foods will make you gain weight or will change your body or just aren't good for your body. But the first thing to remember is that unless you end up binging you won't eat "too much". Even if you are  a normal weight most people can eat more some days and still not gain weight or their body changing. When it comes to eating more freely then you need to think of the "cake" in terms of a week.... in a week you want to eat the round cake and it is cut into 7 big slices (1 for each day of the week) and then how you decide to cut one slice into different meals per day doesnt really matter...  (I dont really know where i am going with this, but trying to explain that if one or a few meals are bigger or different than usual during the week it doesnt really matter because it balances itself). And even if you are on a meal plan and you go and eat a whole pizza for dinner with friends instead o eating your usual dinner, it wont affect your weight or body either.

When it comes to the anxiety and guilt you may feel, you need to remember that 1 meal is just one meal.... it wont change anything and doesnt mean that you shouldnt eat again. Eating is a constant thing, something you need to do everyday, several times a day.It is not enough to eat once and think that that will get you through the day, because it wont. You need to try to realise that food is energy, it is helping your body. So what you ate more or ate a fear food? That is energy which is helping your body... helping repair your body or giving you energy so that you can live and function.

When you feel guilty and want to compensate, ask yourself what compensating will do.... are you choosing your eating disorder or a healthy life? What will happen if you dont compensate..... Why not try not compensating, fight against the anxiety and the guilt... know that on the other side it is a lot better, but then you have to get through the tough times. Try to take one meal at a time and forget the rest of your meals... forget the ones you ate, forget the ones you are going to eat. Just focus on the now. Focus on the meal you are eating and know that each time you eat you are giving your body energy and that it doesnt matter what you ate before or what you are going to eat later, your body still needs energy now.

If you know you are going to eat at a restaurant for dinner, that doesnt mean you eat a small lunch and skip an afternoon snack. If you know you are going for brunch one morning, that doesnt mean you restrict and eat every little the day before.... no, you take each meal as it is and eat what your body needs right then.

I know this post might not be so helpful, but that is because it is hard to give advice about this topic... because the only thing you need to do is to eat and face the anxiety. Face the guilt and the fear and see food as it is, energy and something your body needs... but also an enjoyment. Because eating isn't a chore, it is an enjoyment as well. And your body will always need food and energy and hopefully one day you will be able to eat intuitively and listen to your body and then you forget about what you ate yesterday, or the meal before because you can listen to your body and cravings and eat what your body needs and wants. But it is a process of listening and trusting your body and taking the negativity and fear away from food.

If any of my readers have advice about this subject then comment below :)


  1. Honestly, what I mostly did was to cry.

    You do yourself a favour facing the agony straight ahead. Whatever your most effective but unharmy (uncompensative, that is) way of expressing "Fuck this shit" is, go for it. I might throw a pillow or two or tear up a newspaper when nothing else helps and used those tricks back then with food guilt, too.

    Eventually you'll see that nothing bad happened because you ate but you didn't lose the battle either.

  2. Crying (rather than bottling everything up), can be a welcome release and relief! By letting go of that stubborn streak and pushing through everything that scares you.. You find that the worst, was actually, all in your head.

  3. Thank you soooooooooooomuch for this article , it helps me a lot!

    Yes, for me, it is very hard to forget what I ate yesterday.

    I don't live the moment, live the present.

    Another problem I have is the disgust I feel for my body and for myself, no matter what weight I am.

    At the moment I am underweight. This feeling of disgust NEVER disappears.

    Any ideas? :)

    Thank you so much for the article, I will bookmark it :)