Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Friday, October 16, 2015
Focusing on the positives
This morning I felt that I was in need of as much positivity and positive thinking as possible.
Yesterday evening was a lovely evening with my boyfriend and his parents at a restaurant. There was delicious food and a good time. Though it wasn't until the night when my boyfriend had fallen asleep and I lay awake with alot of anxiety, the weight of depression weighing me down and 1001 negative thoughts. At that moment all I wanted to do was take some sort of pill to make it all go away or for the first time ever, I felt like picking up the phone and calling a therapist or someone. I didn't know what to do with myself or my thoughts and sometime at 3 or 4am I finally fell asleep, only to wake up at 7am. I do not want this post to be negative or to go into my thoughts as I don't even know why everything felt so strong. There was alot of fear and sadness anyway. But I want this post to be positive, because that is what I need right now.... lots and lots of positivity and motivation.
So today I am going to be excited for today. It's Friday after all, going to be excited for a new day. I'm going to make it a good day,whatever I do. I'm going to notice the small things, like flowers while out walking or the blue sky or notice something that makes me smile. I'm going to look in the mirror and try to smile at myself, write nice words on my skin instead of feeling like using something sharp. I'm going to eat lots of green stuff as that is what I am craving! I am going to cuddle my dog and take a power nap and hopefully laugh while listening to a podcast. I am going to read my book and maybe lift some weights at the gym if i have the energy! It is the small things in life. Focusing on all the big things, on all the musts, the future and to do's.... that can be overwhelming and sometimes you just need to focus on the small things each day. Make the day positive and that is what I need right now. Good thoughts, happy thoughts and positivity.
And maybe reconsidering to book a new time for the psychiatrist as I had already cancelled that appointment, not feeling ready.... but it feels like I've reached the point of, I can't keep feeling this way and feels like I can't get any lower with my thoughts (though I know I can and that scares me). Or better put, if my thoughts get even darker then I don't know what I will end up doing. But for now.... positivity, positivity, positivity.