Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Thursday, October 1, 2015

Another change of plans

When plans that you didn't want to cancel have to be canceled. 

Instead of spending the evening at my boyfriends like I wanted to, I am instead lying in bed with the worst stomach pain which I've had for the past 4 hours now. Both freezing as well as super warm and also feeling guilty as I said I was going to meet my boyfriend and I wanted to but then I had to cancel.  :( 

I hate having to do that and feel so guilty, especially when it wasn't something I wanted to cancel. But the fact that standing up made me feel like fainting and everything went dizzy and all I can do is lie on my side and take small sips of water, it felt a little silly to then spend an hour on public transport only to then be unsocial and lie in pain at my boyfriends place. Not sure why I am feeling this way, though I think it's a food I ate today. ..... just another food to add to the list which my body doesn't want to digest. Or maybe it's not certain foods but just my body not Co operating at all. But I now know what foods I need to avoid as my body (due to my cystic fibrosis) is not digesting the food and it leaves me in a lot of pain afterwards (and it wasn't sundried tomatoes this time. ) Medicine and enzymes aren't helping either, maybe I need a higher dose though.... but it feels like recently my CF is affecting me alot worse which does scare me.

 Both my lungs and my digestive system aren't doing that great compared to  a year ago... and I've seen from X rays that they have gotten worse as well. I guess that adds a sort of stress in my life as well as physically feeling a little worse,  not wanting to admit it and it feels like sometimes it doesn't matter how much "cf care" I do, because I can't seem to stop it. :/ I mean my doctor wants me to start taking antibiotics soon and then keep taking them until january/February,  meaning roughly 4-5 months of constant anti biotic. .... usch, i just know how awful I will feel if I have to do that. Anti biotic mess with the bacteria in the intestines and it can take years to get back all the good bacteria after just a short session of antibiotics.  :/ but also when you have very little good bacteria in the intestines that can cause alot of other problems in the body. ... :/ anti biotic have their benefits but they completely mess me up when I take them. But they are a part of my CF care and a way of keeping my lungs healthy :/

This post became way too long, but lying here in pain the words just sort of flowed out of me. And I really hope tomorrow i feel better and that it's nothing serious. Though I've felt the same lain before while eating certain foods so I'm pretty sure it's just some food I ate today :/

To distract myself, here are some cute pictures i found!


  1. What food was it?

    1. I dont think its necessary to write it on here, also that it could be triggering for some. :)

    2. How can food be triggering? o_O

    3. I dont think its necessary to write out what food that is causing my stomach pain as its individual, but it can be triggering. Because when i say that i cant eat a certain food then people might read that and think that they cant eat the food.

    4. Ok, then I understand :)

  2. I'm sorry to hear you're in so much pain! Hopefully you'll feel more comfortable soon! What has worked in the past when you feel like this? Thinking of you!

    1. Basically lying still and trying to sleep, haha. Painkillers dont work so well either, and thank you. Thankfully i feel much better this morning!

  3. I'm sorry you're feeling so crummy. Is there anyone you can talk to about the CF stuff? It can be very isolating when you're in a situation that most people don't quite understand.

    1. Ive talked to my dietician and doctor about it and before i had to increase my medicine dose so i might have to do that now again or just avoid certain foods.

    2. I meant the mental side, not the medical side! Sounds stressful.

  4. Oh dear, i'm so sorry to hear that.
    Get well soon!