Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, October 18, 2015

Am I a hypocrite?

I got a comment a while ago stating that I was a hypocrite for giving out advice when I am struggling myself. And I don't take your comment as critique as I understand what you mean, however I am not giving out advice that I would not follow myself. I.e if I were to tell you all to stay strong and never give up and then I decide that life is too tough and I decide to give up, that WOULD be hypocritical. I can't sit here and tell you all to do something and I can't do it myself.

But I don't think that giving advice even if I amnt at the best place makes me hypocritical. Though one thing I do agree with is that I am slightly hypocritical in the sense that I tell you all to seek help and treatment and to talk to people, and those are two things which I can't do myself.  So in that sense I feel guilty when I tell others to do that,but I tell you because it DOES help, but you also need to want the help.  But even if you don't,  it's important to talk to someone. To not suffer in silence, and in a way, me talking is me writing on my blog. I know my sister reads my blog and I am sure she shares the information with my mum, so that's my type of communication with my family. Though I know it isn't enough and I do know that I need to start talking to a therapist, I know deep inside that even if I don't want to... I should. And I need to take my own advice and even if I don't want to, I know what the right thing is.

And that's why I give you the same advice,because even if you don't want to do something you should because you know it's the right thing.

But back to topic, we can all have different opinions and I am open and I have a public blog so I am judged by many different people and I accept that. And everyone has the right to think what they want, and I do accept all types of comments as long as they aren't an attack on me and meant to bring me down, but if they are constructive or just something you think/want me to answer,  then I can easily talk to you.  I am not someone who argues and won't get offended or begin attacking,  instead I listen (well read) what you have to say and that means things can progress. Such as if something on my blog is triggering or you think I should change something else then just let me know :) I am only human after all and we all make mistakes and don't always notice small things which could be changed!

Anyway, this is my opinion on the topic.

10 comments:

  1. I love the way you respond constructive criticism and even haters - you are so mature.
    I think that helping others is just in your nature and you want to give advice to all of us even if you cant go by your words yourself.

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    1. I hate arguing and especially don't see the point of arguing online. Everyone is entitled to their judgements and opinions and I respect that :) I do follow my own advice to 90% though, I mean I don't give advice which I wouldn't follow myself. And I am taking my own advice and going to seek treatment and talk to someone. And the advice I give is sometimes advice for myself. ... but I usually write advice from my own experiences, i mean advice for how to cope with anxiety and guilt around eating isn't advice I need myself and that is just to help others :)

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  2. I don't have much time to write now, or explain my answer fully, but I don't think you are a hypocrite. It's not like you aren't trying at all, it's okay to have bad times and be unable or unwilling to want to talk to someone sometimes, you realise that you have to and that is a very important thing, even if it takes you a while to actually do it.

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  3. You aren't a hypocrite. Just because you don't feel your best immediately doesn't mean you don't even follow your advice. Healing from any mental disorder takes time. But I do suggest you go to a therapist, as the depression has been lasting a while now, and if you feel the appointments don't help- you can always stop. And perhaps studying again will help, as having a structure in life is the most important.

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  4. I remember that comment and I feel it was really off-base as well. From what you post, you DO do the things you suggest to your readers. I don't think that the fact that you are struggling disqualifies you from giving advice. If anything, I actually see this as a unique opportunity to show your readers, in real time, what it is like to have a mental health relapse and how to battle it. Outside of my concern and empathy for you, I actually find this all very interesting. Its like a look inside of real mental health issues and how to live through it and how to climb back out of it. The ONE thing that I would even remotely think if as "hypocritical" is the piece around outside or professional help - and now you are planning to do that at last. Again, I think its an opportunity to blog about the process of deciding to seek help, the challenges around deciding to seek help (like the way you initially cancelled, and how hard it is to go through with it, the thoughts and fears you have about going, etc), and then the experience of getting healthy again. Its something that a LOT of your readers can relate to, and I think you present a very real portrait of what its like to live with mental illness. I'm not sure what that commenter thinks you should do - shut down your blog until you're healthy again??? How would that help you or your readers?? Its like saying a doctor shouldn't doctor when they have a medical condition of their own. Just because you suffer from something doesn't make you incompetent to talk about it.... In fact, to me I think it makes you even more qualified to speak, because you have intimate knowledge of the topic and therefore you might have some really valuable insight into it.

    Also, I am continually appreciative of the way you allow dissenting comments on your blog and your willingness to address them. Other bloggers just delete or block those comments, and I find THAT more hypocritical and disingenuous than anything you are doing.... So thank you for continuing to stay open and available to your readers, even when some of them are critical or even occasionally downright mean in their comments.

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    1. Thank you, that is so sweet of you :) I am now in the process of trying to find a therapist to talk to. Im not sure whether to begin with the psychiatrist at the CF team which i can talk to... but i feel like i want to talk to someone seperate from my cysitc fibrosis and my eating disorder as this is more "life in general" which is weighing me down rather than those two things... but i need to start somewhere. Not sure when i will begin talking to someone, but the fact that i have made the decision to talk to someone, which i have never even considered in 8 years is a big thing for me :)

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  5. I personally like the idea of an outside counsellor rather than one who is connected to your past issues or your CF. Just for a totally fresh perspective that isn't tied to some other issue. From what you've been posting, it seems as though your depression has very little to do with CF or EDs right now (although they may tie in they are not the central problem going on, right?). You just seem overwhelmed with life and with managing your thoughts and emotions. That's exactly what therapists help with. It can be a bit awkward at times to be in a therapy session, but trust me, they have seen it all and are not going to judge or think anything weird or negative, or like your problems aren't big enough or that you somehow aren't "doing therapy right", or *whatever * your fears may be. They can give practical help in learning how to communicate ( I have had others come in to sessions with me to work on just that skill), how to use coping skills, creating goals, figuring out why your brain is basically malfunctioning - well, you know the ins and outs of it, you've been there before. The thing is to just DO IT. Make the appointment. Show up. And don't over think it because you might talk yourself out of it. At the very worst, it won't help. But at best? It might get you back on track to a healthier and happier you. Good luck!

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    1. Thank you so much for your advice, it is very kind and like you say, if i think too much i am most lkely going to back out of it or feel that its "too much" and just like all other times throughout my life cancel or not show up. And also as you wrote, at best it can help and if it doesnt well then i have tried, but being open to the option of it helping is important for me as i believe it can help others and always promote it but have never believed it can help me when i have barely even tried talking to someone. Not sure when i'll start but sometime i guess....

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