Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, October 1, 2015

3 Answers - if others are skinny, why cant i be, house work and my boyfriend

the sentence '...if others can look like that, so can I.' made me think, so I have a question. there is a girl in my class that is underweight, but does not have an eating disorder (or at lest I think she does not because she eats at school and sometimes wears pretty revealing clothes, sometimes even she says that she is too thin). she went to the regular school checkup with the class and nobody said anything about her weight because now, a year later, she is the same. that makes me think exactly like that-if she can be like that so can I. that lead to a relapse. :/ I think that doctors only pay attention to someones weight when a person has already been diagnosed with an ed (like me) :( so far I haven't found a single reason not to be like her and I need your help/opinion 

I have recently written a post about this so you can read about it HERE. But what you got to remember is that everyone is different and being underweight doesnt necessarily mean that someone is sick or unhealthy. An eating disorder is a mental illness and not just about size. There are people who are normal weight or overweight and suffer with eating disorders, but weightloss and being very skinny are often a consequence of the eating disorder. Because not alot of people start off extremely skinny and underweight and then develop an eating disorder and lose even more.

There are people who are naturally very skinny or underweight and that doesnt mean it is a bad thing, of course if someone isnt eating enough (though doesnt mean they have an eating disorder) or they have a low body fat percent then in the long term it can cause problems. You shouldnt compare yourself to anyone else and being skinny doesnt make you better than anyone else, you need to realise that your problems are in your head and if your body naturally doesnt look a certain way, then dont try to force your body to look that way. Your only aim and focus should be health and happiness, not trying to be the skinniest because that wont bring happiness.

One of my friends from hihgh school was(is) very skinny. When i first started the class i did presume she had an eating disorder as she was so thin and at first i found it just a little hard to be around, but then i got to know her and realised that she didnt have an eating disorder, that she was naturally very tall and skinny and infact her whole family was like that. She also works as a model but that didnt stop her from eating McDonalds and other stuff, infact she ate more during lunches and such than my other friends and she often had snacks with her. It sounds a bit like i have analyzed her, haha, but these are just small things i noticed during the 3 years. The way she looked was her natural body shape and not because of a diet or an eating disorder. There will ALWAYS be people skinnier than you, either people who have an eating disorder or people who are naturally  skinny but you need to focus on loving yourself and not getting triggered or bothered by how others look. Focus on your own health and know that everyone looks different.

Below are two other helpful posts:

Feeling jealous over others
The desire to be thin

I hope this helps, but the hard work has to go into your thoughts and mental state and changing "skinny=best" into "health&happiness =best"

only curious ... number 4) daily housework? do you divide it amongst you in your family? what do you do? only curious!

Now that i amnt working or in school i do most of the house work. While i was in school then i would help as much as i could such as doing the dishwasher in the evening and cleaning my own clothes during the weekends and if i had energy or time walks with the dog. But now that i am at home and my sister is working and studying, my step dad works and is often in other parts of the country working and my mum works at home then its mostly me who does the chores. I.e dishwasher several times per day, cleaning the kitchen, walks with the dog several times per day, cleaning the bathroom up stairs, hoovering and then doing my own laundry (everyone does their own laundry at home) and also going to the store if we need something. My mum does the dishwasher and goes out with the dog sometimes as well as she works at home but she does work and does alot of research and writing, and then she does her yoga classes in the evenings. I dont mind doing chores i can find it therapeutic in a way.
  However.... if anyone tells me i "Have to" do something, then i most likely wont do it even if i had planned to do it. Haahaha, its strange that, but being told to do something makes me 100% likely to not do it. So i think my family have learnt that i am going to do the chores once i have the time and dont need to be told to do them.

Are you still together with your boyfriend? You haven't written anything about him :s I'm sorry if you don't want to write about it.
Hahah yes I am :) I havent seen him in a week now as i was away on the island and then he became sick so i didnt want to meet him (he thinks im mean, but i really dont want to catch a cold/sickness). But we talk on the phone each evening anyway :)


  1. Thank you so much for replying to my earlier comment Izzy (the one about eating 2300 calories, but still gaining weight etc), it was so helpful and really reassured me. It also reminded me that my weight isn't the most important thing, it's about being healthy and living my life. I'm really going to try and eat to my hunger cues, although I still don't trust them as I'm either not hungry at all, or really hungry...., and just eat what my body wants and needs. The fact that my periods are not back yet also reminds me that my body might not be at it's 'set point' yet, and, therefore, I should just keep going with eating and not panicking and restricting. I'm also working on trying to accept my body as it is, and not wanting or wishing it to be a certain way...sorry, I've just given you my life story! I hope that you're doing well and are feeling less depressed. Lots of love xxxx

  2. Referring to the first answer. I have a kind of opposite problem. In my group of friends I have a girl who is trying to loose weight and also build muscle by dieting and forcing herself to the gym. Where as I´m trying to gain weight (and muscle) by eating a lot and actually I have not gained almost any weight in the past three months even if I have gotten more muscular. I enjoy exercise so much and never have to force myself to workout. The problem is that I feel like I have to restrict myself in my friend group because I don´t want to make this girl feel bad. She is always talking about dieting stuff and flexing her muscles and so on. And I would actually love to talk about my workouts too and how I´m making progress and gaining while actually having fun. But I feel like I can´t flex and stuff around her because I don´t want her to be jelous or I don´t want my friends to think I´m bragging. So I always just nod and smile.
    Do you have experiences like this?

    1. Forgot that I also feel like I can´t eat as much as I want to and need to around her because she is on a diet.

    2. Im going to try answer you in a post today or tomorrow :)