Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, October 18, 2015

2 answers - food, balance and about my boyfriend

I know that you are just trying to set a good example by posting your meals, but that also proves you are not truly recovered in my opinion. i think you are still too focused on food. Correct me if I am wrong.
I know where you are coming from but i have answered this many times before, the reason i post food pictures is because of my social media. If i didnt have my social media there would be absaloutly no point in taking food photos, but because they are requested on my blog as well as i post alot on my other social media. It may seem like i am food obsessed but know that what i post and write is 5% of my thoughts and my life.
   I mean there is no point writing.... " we drove the car to the cafe. We ate. We drove home....." Instead i would rather comment about the food because it was delicious and then i post photos because it has been requested. But i dont take photos of everything i eat... i post maybe one or two meals a day, 3 at most... i eat SO MUCH MORE than what i post, but i dont find it necessary to talk about or post about. Also the reason why i dont post food diaries because it can be triggering and i amnt even aware of how much i eat each day.

My focus on food is on the blog because i dont have so much else to write at the moment. And you can think i am food obsessed, you are entitled to you opinion but i know what is true and how i think and that is what is important. 

 Btw were you joking when you mentioned dieting in an instagram post as a caption to an ice cream and chocolate pic? 
For those of you who dont know... i posted "diet starts next week" as a joke on my IG (its a food IG, not an ED recovery IG. ) and it was a joke... because i am the last person who will start a diet. I wrote it because the past week i have eaten chocolate everyday and my feed is basically filled with chocolate and candy, so my joke was that diet starts next week... because that is what pretty much 100 other people write when they post a picture of chocolate, as if they have to justify eating it. I guess its hard to show sarcasm through text, hahaha... 

 you also say that one meal won't instantly make you gain weight. all these contradictions are a bit puzzling to me. same with saying we don't need to label foods as good and bad but then saying that balance is key. balance between what? p.s. sorry for lots of questions :/

I dont think you should label food as good or bad, but i think we are all aware that some foods have more nutrients than others. We all know that there is "junk" food so to say, but that doesnt mean that you cant eat those foods.Eat a pice of brocolli and a cookie = balance. If you just eat salads and egg whites and chicken then that might not be the most balanced intake but if you just eat pizza and chips that isnt so balanced either. But how about chicken, fries and salad... then you have balance sort of. But everyone needs to find their balance and moderation, because for me balance is eating a small piece of chocolate several times a week and eating roughly 100-200g nuts per day. For others, that isnt balance, but that works for me and is my balance..... balance is basically, not too much of anything. Just eating brocolli is just as bad as just eating pizza.

My answers might not change your opinion or view on me as it seems you have quite set opinions and judgements and thats ok... but remember that what i post is a "social media" version of me. Youdont see the behind the scenes me.... I try my best to be myself and to try to show my personality, but you have to remember that social media is used for  a reason and my identitiy isnt always shown through text and pictures and things are often posted for readers/viewers.

Sorry, if it is too curious, but what kind of person is your boyfriend?
And, does he actually know that you are going through a hard time at the moment?

You are are great person, love your blog!!

Thank you so much :)

My boyfriend is super sweet and thoughful, he really is one of the kindest people i have ever met and am so glad that i am together with him. He is the type of person who will pack with him an extra jumper even though i say that i wont be cold. The type of person who buys me chocolate when its that time of month or buys vegetables when he knows i am coming over. The type of person who gives me random hugs and kisses and just cuddles me when i am feeling low. He is very understanding and caring and understand when i want my distance or when i just want to sit and listen to music or when i go away to blog. He also understands my lifestyle and understands that i want to go to the gym or go for walks and like eating vegetables and it works because he understands. If he didnt understand my lifestyle or wanted me to change then it wouldnt workout. He is super sweet and caring and sometimes i feel awful because i can be sort of cold and distant when i am feeling low as well as being awful at answering messages or calls, so i feel bad and like i am a bad girlfriend because he really is the type of perfect boyfriend when i am very far from the perfect girlfriend. But then again... is there such a thing as perfect?

Does he know that i am struggling? I really dont know, i guess he has noticed a change in my behaviour and energy levels as well as needing more space recently. But i dont think he knows just how bad i am feeling as i try to hide it as much as i can which isnt good. I lack communication skills and am scared of scaring him away when i know that he would most probably be very caring and try to help me, but i feel like I dont want his help, i dont want people who know me to know how much i am struggling. Though i am going to seek treatment/therapist and then i might mention that to him. He does know about my past and my blog so he knows that i have self harmed/been very depressed and suicidal before but i dont think he thinks it is so bad, more that its just a "phase" or something like that. I dont really know what he knows or thinks, unfortunatly i havent dared to ask or to bring up the conversation. The only reason i told him about my blog and about my past was because i was put in a situation where i had to, and i feel that it will be the same thing this time.

If you have any more questions, there is a Q&A coming up next post, so leave your questions and comments there :):)


  1. Is it bad to do body checks every morning? Or do normal people do that too?

    1. No body checking isn't good or healthy. Its one thing to look in the mirror and look at yourself, but another thing to check your body to see if you have gained weight/changed shape or grabbing/pinching your body/weight etc so that isn't healthy. Just like people doing "stomach checks" each time they pass the mirror isn't healthy. One thing to look at yourself, another thing to do checks... so do try to get rid of that habit. Your body hadn't changed overnight/a few hours.

  2. I think your boyfriend is blessed in you, as are your readers.

    1. Naaw thank you. But I don't really feel that way :(

  3. I don’t feel comfortable commenting on whether someone is recovered or not, so I won’t ket onto those words. I can never know your heart. I do sincerely hope that you ARE recovered, and I intend to believe what you say. If you are happy and healthy, that’s all that matters. <3 Hope you get out of this funk soon!

  4. Hey! Thanks for everything you do on your blog. :) I encourage you to get help, the hardest step is the first one. Also, do you mind saying what your IG account name is? Xx

  5. how do you say enufs enuf and go for it - I'm like inching my way along, i don't feel able to go faster yet this is also slow torture.

  6. why do u have to click on pics to prove you're not a robot, i can't comment on my mobile as i go thru pages and pages identifying the correct pics and still i can't comment.