Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Sunday, September 20, 2015

Yesterdays birthday party

Good morning!!

This morning i am not waking up feeling the way i had expected or hoped to feel i.e sober. Despite thinking and knowing i wouldnt drink any alcohol because i felt so awful last time i ended up taking one shot of tequlia which lead to one more and one more followed by other mixes of alcohol. Not a good combination when you have already drunk energy drinks before hand - which was my choice of drink for most of the time. But that's life.... it wasnt until i was sitting on the tube home that i felt the effects of alcohol and did not feel good at all. So this morning its a headache and sickness feelings...... which is not optimal as we are heading out for lunch at my step dads parents house. Hahahah, hopefully i'll be fine XD

But otherwise, how was the "party". Well when I first got to the station i had absaloutly no idea where to get to the park where we were going to have the grill/barbeque. Some of my friends were already there and others were coming later so i had to try to find my own way, but didnt even know what the park was called so put on Google maps and wandered around, until i realised i had no idea where i was and that i was most probably going in the completely wrong direction. The little arrow on the maps just kept changing direction all the time, telling me to head "north east".... i had no idea which way i was heading, so how was i supposed to know where to turn. Right at that moment i just wanted to break down and cry, i was feeling super cold after freezing all day and not that excited to socialize. So i was moments away from getting on a train and heading home because i couldnt find the place and had been wandering around for 15 minutes already. But then two of my friends had arrived at the station so i wandered back there and luckily they knew the direction so we finally got there. And i realised, i was walking in the complete opposite direction XD I would not have found the park without help.

Then as we sat there with everyone there joined more people over time, more alcohol, more food and chocolate and crisps thrown into the middle of the blankets. It got darker and colder and people began to get up and stand and dance instead of sitting on the wet and cold blankets.

It was fun, but i also realised how my friends have changed alot. But i am sure they might think the same about me.... some look so much older after starting university, others look completely worn out... others have started smoking or using other forms of tabacco..... it just felt weird at times. Like we were close, but there was still this thin layer of ice between us.... we have grown and changed. Of course we are still friends and close friends, but maybe its just me who analyzes people too much. Who notices the differences in people and at the moment just feels distant from everyone.

Anyway, it was an ok night and i didnt get home until around 2am and then asleep sometime at 3am, only to wake up at 7am. So i feel that this day will be a long and hard day. Soon a breath of fresh air with my dog and then get ready for the day!!


  1. I do this too, Izzy, turning up at a station without any idea how to get where I'm going, or even where exactly it is that I'm going.... :)

  2. Running or any Form of exercise helps against hangovers! (Something to do with chemistry you need oxogyn to break down the stuff that causes hangovers) so you could go for a quite run or so? I know sounds hoffible if you've got a headache xD I'm terrible with maps so Ive also managed to walk the the opposite direction ;)

  3. University changes you in so many ways: there's a lot more responsibility for your own learning and the resources can be difficult to understand which makes things stressful & at times you struggle to find a balance between relaxation and study. You generally cope better if you enjoy what you're doing because you know its all worth it! Try loads of Vitamin B. I find that helps with the hangover :)