Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, September 26, 2015

What is binge eating/bulimia and how to recover

Binging is not eating an extra portion after dinner.

Binging is not taking another snack after you just ate a snack because you werent satisfied.

Binging is not having a day where you eat loads because you are super hungry - and you shouldnt feel guilt after these types of days because sometimes you just need extra energy.

Binging is not eating the amount your body needs whether that is 2000kcal a day or 4000kcal a day

Binging is not eating a 3 course meal.

Binging is not eat both pizza and chocolate in one day.

Binging is not going through extreme hunger - often during recovery.

Binging is a lack of control. A mental hunger and binges are often triggered by emotions, memories or stress. A binge is when you eat a large quantity of food (roughly 2500+ kcal in one "session") in one go... and a binge can last anywhere from 20 minutes to 2 hours where the person eats and eats and eats until uncomfortably full.

Despite what people say, binging is not because a person has a lack of self control, but it is a mental illness. Something is triggered in the brain, just like when a person is so scared of eating one potatoe that they cry, scream and do anything possible to avoid eating that potatoe. It isnt rational behaviour, it is like the rational part of the mind is turned off and there is this voice in your head controlling you. And it is the same for binging.... though then its just that you want food.

Binging can often be done in secret as you dont want people to know how much you have eaten and some even plan their binges. They can even buy the food in preperation, knowing that they will binge on the food.

When you binge there is no control, you forget what moderation or control is... you just keep putting food in your mouth even if you dont like the food or even feel hungry.

If a person just binges and doesnt compensate then they suffer from binge eating disorder.But if they binge and then purge, use diuretics or laxatives or overexercise then they suffer from bulimia, where they try to purge the food (in different ways) from their system.

Whether you compensate or not binge eating is not good and stresses the body and mind extremely. I have gone through binge eating (bulimia as i purged afterwards) and it was incredibly tough to break free from. Because food is everywhere.... just like when you recover from restrictive eating, you need to learn to find balance with food. Unlike with alcoholics who can cut alcohol completely from their lives, even if its tough... when you suffer from an eating disorder you cant just cut food from your life. It is everywhere and you need it everyday, but you need it in the right amount. Too much isnt good and too little isnt good either, but its that golden line of balance which is hard to achieve.

When you have suffered from restrictive eating it does happen that you turn to binge eating because your body is so starved... but it is more likely to happen if you are still very restrictive during recovery, if you dont allow your body the food it needs. Eventually your mind and body will just scream for food and once you eat something a little "more" then its like something is triggered in your brain and you think.... might as well eat everything in sight. It can also happen if you decide to gain weight and "recover" super quickly and you just eat everything, then you dont learn balance or moderation, but also you go frmo one extreme to the other which can shock the body.

The best thing if you are recovering from a restrictive eating disorder is to follow a meal plan where you increase calories over time. And if you feel very hungry then increase your portions and add in snacks or bigger snacks. Dont be afraid to eat more, but it shouldnt swap over to where you end up losing control and just eat everything in sight either.

And if you recover from binge eating or bulimia my best advice is to one REACH OUT FOR HELP. It is a mental illness and nothing you need to feel ashamed about, food has become a problem and you need help to find balance. Because people who suffer from bulimia or binge eating disorder can be normal weight (usually those who compensate manage to maintain their weight) there are thousands of people who arent diagnosed because they dont dare speak up. Infact i think bulimia is more common than anorexia, though that is counting what is estimated about the people who dont reach out for help. Because they maintain their weight and it is very secretive people might not notice it and so it is up to the individual to reach out for help.

Second is to try to follow a meal plan and also to write down your thoughts and what you are thinking, especially when you feel like binging. There is something that triggers the binge and it is good to know what it is.

Third is distractions and someone to talk to. When you feel like binging or compensating it is like a fly in the room, it keeps bothering you until you get super irritated and get up and try to smack the fly... but in this case, you get so irritated and it is so hard to stand against those feeelings of wanting to binge that you just do it anyway, even if you know how awful you will feel afterwards. But you need to remember how awful you will feel afterwards and remind yourself that after each binge and/Or purging session you tell yourself "never again" but yet you do it again.... but you need to remind yourself how you wont do it again. How you need to let that irritation take its course, because it will pass and you will realise that you feel a little stronger because you didnt do what the ED told you to. It is about being stronger than your eating disorder, and in most cases distractions are a good idea as they got your mind off of what your ED wants you to do.

Know that you are not alone in your struggles and you can get help, you should never feel embarrassed about suffering from an eating disorder. No matter if its restrictive, binging, bulimia, orthorexia etc it is better to get help as soon as possible so that you dont waste years of your life in a hell-type-state-of-living.

I have many posts about binging, bulimia, purging etc in THIS TAG . So if you find that these relate to you and you need help maybe look at some of those posts.

Stay strong and know you can get through this.


  1. This is so true, I couldn't have said it any better myself.
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  2. i agree with the last line of the comment above!