The freedom when you feel hungry, go into a shop and buy something that you enjoy. Not caring about the calories, the sugar or fat content. Not caring about what i have already eaten or what I'm going to eat later. Just knowing that I need some fuel right now. It has not always been like that. There were times in my past where I would walk around in circles in stores. Unable to decide what to buy, what had the least calories or what would give me the least calories. What was worth eating, but 99% of the time I would end up leaving the store after 20 minutes with nothing bought. My ed jubilating, but me feel hungry and not knowing what to do.
It's not easy to go from being obsessed with numbers to being able to not care. But the first step is to realise that food is fuel and your body needs it. Always. Food is not something you need to earn, it's something you need. Next step is to know that calories aren't dangerous, they are energy cells. Calories fuel your body and calories are protein, carbs, fat, fiber... your body needs all the macronutrient.
Also remember that the body can handle more energy Somedays. Your body is not a calculator it doesn't really notice if you eat 500 kcal more one day. You won't suddenly gain weight. You also won't suddenly gain weight if you eat a chocolate bar or eat a muffin or eat a bag of crisps. It doesn't work that way. But your body does need a balance, different types of food makes the body feel best.
You need to face the fear. Not let your eating disorder control you. Do the things that scare you. Go into a shop and buy what you think looks good or what yiu want to eat right then. Or when you go out to eat don't choose things based on calories, but choose what you will enjoy. The first time will be scary and you might not succeed, but go back and try again. It will get easier and less scary the more you try and you have to keep trying!!
It might not be easy and you don't go from super scared to not scared at all in a matter of days. But keep trying, keep facing your fears, go against your eating disorder and you will be able to feel the freedom without an eating disorder. Not have thoughts that control you or keep you back. Know what is best for YOU, not what your eating disorder wants you to do.