Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, September 6, 2015

The comparisons via numbers is getting ridiculous

Now a days there is so much comparison between people and its no longer just how a person looks and their appearance. But now it is also grades, how much weight they can lift, how fast they can run etc etc

And yes, unfortunatly i have been part of this. Something which i regret now, its kind of stupid. It isnt necessary... of course there are times you feel proud and you want to share a certain time, weight, grade etc but in the whole, its not necessary... it just leads to comparison between people. Making others feel bad about themselves. Of course, you could discuss the fact that people have to take control over their emotions and feelings and you cant avoid triggers forever. If it triggers you when someone writes how fast they run or what grade they get etc then it is something you need to deal with with yourself, and not hate others for their performance. But ive noticed more and more on social media, and even with friends and family that the main question when you run a race is...what time did you run? Not, how did the race go... did you enjoy the race? Was it a fun run/race or was it tough? No... the main thing people wonder about is the time. But what does it matter.... what does it matter to anyone else, and this is a reminder to myself, because i have posted my race time online. But it isnt necessary because the time i run is based on many different things... how much energy i have, how i am feeling, how my breathing is going, whether my legs and body feel heavy or not. Depends on so many things and in the end it doesnt matter if i run X or Y tempo, and it sure doesnt matter to anyone else either. Everyone can run at different speeds, and that doesnt make you a bad runner. Running is about YOU, about YOU enjoying it and pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. Forget about what speed other people are running, who cares if someone can run 21km and you can only run 3km... do YOUR best, because that is all you can do.

There is alot of boasting and bragging online, and sure... ive done it myself .Sometimes you feel proud and want to share things, but it is a reminder to myself that you know what... i dont want to add to that hype and comparison. Not everything has to be shared.

Dont compare yourself to others, not in how others perform in whatever it is. People are better at different things, some are great at X and others are great at Y. That doesnt make you bad at something, it just means your different and have different 'preconditions' (I think thats the word, not sure.)

This is just a reminder, focus on YOU. Dont care about anyone elses weight, grade, weights they lift, speed they run etc etc


  1. I go to checkup at a hospital. The only thing people care about and the only thing mom tell everyone first is how many kilograms I weigh. That's sad, even in anorexia recovery. Nobody ever asked how I feel, just how many kilos I weigh.

    1. I went through "recovery" without talking to my so-called-therapists (two ladies). I ate what I was supposed to, gained the weight to a BMI of 19. After that I was left on my own. They never bothered with what was going on in my head. I talked to a teacher about my feelings, and that helped me recover - not the health system who only care about numbers and fysical appearence.

    2. I struggled with similar issues but in the end, isn't it up to us as people who've experienced that to help find ways to mend the system, as constructively as we can?
      (ps out of interest, why didn't you talk to your "so-called therapists"?)

    3. I didn't talk to them because they prejudged me and didn't listen to what I was saying. When I said that I didn't think of myself as fat (I had a BMI of 14-ish), they just sat here and nodded. The next appointment they said I had been very good, since I was following my mealplan and gaining weight. Nothing wrong with that, but they also said: "It can't be easy whith your thoughts telling you that you're fat and ugly". And they even threatened to put someone to watch me eat at home, if I didn't eat.

      Note that I started following a meal plan before I had to start going to them, and I gained a few kg (from a BMI of 13). I followed my meal plan 100%. I was set on gaining weight and get back to my life (I was only sick for less than a year). They kept holding me back, forcing these thoughts on me that I TOLD THEM I DIDN'T HAVE. I gave up after like four appointments because it made me so mad inside - I hated them more than anything, even though I started off as open minded to the whole thing.

      They asked if I had any pets, which I did. "Do you feed them properly?" they asked. I nodded. "I thought so, girls with eating disorders are often good at feeding their animals. They are olso very polite, just like you" <--- I mean come on!!!?? WTF?

      I get irritated and frustrated just talking about it - that's why I started talking to my teacher! I needed to get out my frustration over my therapists. It felt like they were psysicaly messing up my mind. Gosh, there are so many more frustrating situations that comes to my mind about them! But I don't want to dig more in it for now.

      FYI - I never relapsed, am healthy and happy now. And I am so glad I don't need to see them anymore!! :)

    4. Thanks so much! I do empathise / sympathise. I had experiences that were similar in many ways. It has taken me a LONG time and some good experiences to stop feeling so intensely angry/pained/vulnerable. I hope that one day things won't be like this for people going through the system. Thank you for sharing your experience. Take care, and very glad indeed that you are "healthy and happy now". That makes me smile.

  2. Thanks Izzy for this post and reminder! :)

    Whilst growing up it's always been about getting A* grades, when competing at horse shows being 'the best' or being a "perfectionist" in everything.. leading me to feel over the years never good enough or utterly worthless.

    I don't care anymore what others think, in terms of comparison!

    I love to do things that just make me happy and that I enjoy.. If I 'compete with myself' then I work on internal improvement and trying to be a better person -- more contented, if that makes sense? Xx

  3. If you run for fun, yes it is stupid to compare yourself with others, but if your run to win, well I care more about time

    1. Yeah that is true :) But i dont run to win or get the best time, i run to have fun :)

  4. there is nothing wrong with a friend wanting to know the time - it's just curiosity most of the time

    1. No thats true :) But i just wish that that wasnt the first question people asked after i have run a race or after running a new distance... i mean sure if they want to ask, but can it atleast be the second or third question then :) Maybe its just me, as i know its just that they are curious and mean nothing bad with it!