Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Running errands with chocolate at the end of the day as motivation

My day can be described as: Lots of energy, no energy, lots of energy, no energy. Motivated, unmotivated... hating all people and extreme irritation as well as extreme "Hangriness". hahaha. Rollercoaster of emotions today!!

The positive anyway is that i got all the things i needed to do done, or i think i have anyway. From what i had on my list of to do things! Though it all took alot longer than planned so then on the way home when i was sitting on the bus and had bought lunch from the shop i was super duper hungry and tired which turned into irritation and a state of anger&hunger=hangry. And i felt this irritation at everyone around me, people everywhere and nobody seemed to know where they were going or what they were doing, this always irritates me. So had to take a few deeps breaths, remind myself that i was low on energy and had low blood sugar and that the irritation rising wouldnt help anyone or anything. So instead, eat a few chocolate and licquourice balls, take deep breathes, put on music and close my eyes.... and try to keep an eye on the stations while on the tube!

The first thing i did when i came home was eat... or well, first i took a photo, then i ate my super late lunch which tasted amazing. Though it took alot of strength on my side to not add sun dried tomatoes to my salad XD They are the finishing touch, but i just have to accept that i cant eat them anymore.... and i dont want to accept it, but atleast my stomach thanks me! It must be awful to have a gluten intolerance or have celiac disease, i cant ever imagine HAVING to give up gluten... i have bread, oats, muslie, cookies way too much. So atleast its just some foods i cant eat, it could be worse.

Since ive come home i have tried to pack my bag, write lists, reply to a few emails though as you might realise that isnt a priority at the moment, considering i need to be able to help myself before i can help others. But i do try to help in comments and answer questions there :) As best i can anyway.

This evening i am going to spend watching a film, not sure which one, with my family and i bought some snacks to share with the family. Salted nuts, different chocolate ball type things & 2 of my favourite chocolates... though in all honesty, its hard to have a favourite chocolate when chocolate in general is just so amazing.

Its funny i keep thinking/saying that i will go on a chocoalte detox, try to go a week without chocolate because it could be good... but then i think. Do i really want to live my life that way? If i want chocolate then i'll eat it. Just because we have chocolate at home doesnt mean i eat it, i just eat it when i want to. Sometimes its 100g at once other times its one square, and that works for me.  Everyone is different and for me it works to eat a little when i want it, even if that is 5 days a week. I would much rather be happy and satisfied eating that way then trying to deprive myself. That just doesnt work for me at all... it always feels so wrong to tell myself "No" to a food which i want, i know my body and my signals so i am not so worried about over eating or eating too much, so for me it works. But like mentioned above, everyone is different.

So... what was my point of the paragraph above? That the chances of me doing a chocolate detox are unlikely, but who knows... i have it on my 101 things to do, so sometime i will have to do it. But then its most probably going to be because i ate so much chocolate at once then it made me not want chocolate for a week XD

Enjoy your evening, now its family time for me.
Or well, im there for the snacks anyway... the choice of film is usually a bad one when my family gets to choose.


  1. Having a gluten intolerance is a bit annoying -- when buying bread etc. but I suppose it's just one of those things!

    I hope you have a lovely evening Izzy.. with lots of chocolate ;) x

    1. I guess you learn to deal with it and cope, there is no other way really :) Thank you. I hope you have a lovely evening!

  2. ha ha instead of having a detox have a chocolate marathon - find as many ways you can add chocolate to food, it amazes me sometimes when i read things like chocolate and chilli or chocolate and marmite or even chocolate sun dried tomatoes lol! maybe after that lot you might need detox and actually want it hee hee but i don't want you to be put off chocolate this was just for fun to while away a few hours whilst travelling - random stuff is always fun. your choc balls look like maltesers i'm a chocolate virgin, yet to try but looking at that made me think ooh i wonder what maltesers taste like? x

    1. Hahaha, i am sure it would eb fun but just thinking about it makes me sweat XD Even though i eat chocolate often, i dont eat it in large amounts because too much makes me feel really warm and nauseous, so even if i would like to have a chocolate marathon, i am pretty sure my body would give up pretty quickly. But there are definitely so many ways to eat chocolate, i mean there is chocolate with ginger, chocolate with chili etc etc

      They were licqourice fudge balls, tasted kind of weird... but maltesars are super good :)

  3. sorry izzy totally off subject but would you be able to post anything about portion sizes if you have time, esp for meals I'm so upset cos my therapist said i need to eat more but i don't know whats normal or where to start. he wasn't really helpful with that.

    1. I can try make a post about this hopefully today or in the next few days. The best thing you can do though is to increase your carbs, protein and healthy fats/sauces with each meal. Add a little more than what you are already eating.

    2. bless u izzy thank you i really appreciate your help and kindness thanks ill have a read of the post I've just seen it thanks x