Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, September 13, 2015

Recovery is about more than weight - but it's important with a healthy weight

Recovery from an eating disorder is more than just weight gain, it is also more than just food. But you cant deny that those things are PART of recovery. Because you cant recover and still be underweight, if that is how you are thinking then you are compromising with your eating disorder.

If your ED tells you that you will recover but you wont weigh more than X kilo or have a BMI higher than X or that you wont eat X or Y food, then your ED is controlling you and it is not recovery. Recovery is letting go of those things and realising that you weight will settle on some weight that is healthy for you and you need to accept that. Reaching a healthy weight and having healthy eating habits are PART of recovery and you cant really recover without them. However they arent the only thing about recovery either. Far too many ED clinics and hospitals just focus on making you eat and gain weight, not really care if you have fear foods or cant eat normally. Not caring about your thoughts, but they are the ones you need to fix. Because there is an underlying problem as to why you became sick. Because even if it started as a diet, it turned into an eating disorder which is not just a diet. But for many people there are issues such as low self esteem, being bullied in their past, abusive family/friends/partner, no stress control etc which lead to the eating disorder and those things need help. Because if you dont fix or try to help the actual problem then it will still be there and chances of relapse are much higher.

You need to work on what caused the eating disorder, work on boosting your self esteem, working on yourself. Or working on your coping mechanisms for life and stress , working on triggers and fears. If you do this it makes it easier to recover and the chances of full recovery as much bigger. Because its not just eat, gain weight and then you are recovered.

However, if you are very underweight and your brain cant think properly and you are very undernourished. You dont even need to be very underweight, but if you have been starving yourself and your body and mind are starved, then the first thing that has to be done is to give your body and mind food and rest. And then talking and mental health comes later, the first thing is to give the body energy. The truth is also, that when your body gets the energy it needs and is a healthier weight the easier it is to think and to think properly. Because when you are starved then your mind isnt functioning properly and you cant think clearly, but also it can cause more harm than good when you are trying to root around in your brain when you are very undernourished and already feeling weak. So those things can come a little later in recovery, but i think it is super important for their to be help for a persons thoughts and mental health when in recovery. Just like with depression, its not just to go out and smile and do things you enjoy, but to talk about the actual problem. Even if you dont know what the actual problem is, that is what others are there to help you with. But you also have to be willing to change the problem, to work on making things better... if you have low self esteem, then you need to work on building it up. Or work on overcoming your fears or your past which might have triggered your eating disorder. Or work on coping mechanisms if you use disordered behaviour due to emotions or stress.

If you dont get help for your thoughts and mental state, then ASK for it. And also work on it yourself... try to figure out what caused you to turn to the bad coping mechanisms and what can you do to change it? You cant be healthy if you still struggle with fears and bad coping mechanisms. Its about both mental and physical recovery!! You need both parts to be fully recovered.

1 comment:

  1. I really struggle with the allowing myself to rest, i feel so lazy and feel everyone is judging me cos they are all out working and I'm like dossing. I feel so fat and guilty. Im also so so tired and scared and struggling with justifying giving myself food if I'm not moving.