Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, September 19, 2015

Eating disorders are mental illnesses and not just weight or behaviour

I often get emails and questions asking, why are there people who are underweight or people who eat very little or diet or don't eat carbs etc but don't have an eating disorder. And it's unfair. And maybe it is.... but eating disorders aren't a weight or a size and not necessarily one certain behaviour. Granted some behaviours aren't healthy and if someone uses them, then they aren't exactly a role model or super healthy,  but it doesn't mea they have an eating disorder just that they have certain disorders behaviour.

An eating disorder is something you most often have to do tests and be diagnosed with.  Of course it's easy to lie on those tests and not get a diagnoses or help, but also some don't want a diagnoses but know that they have an eating disorder.

The first thing is that, there will always be someone skinnier than you. ALWAYS unless you somehow end up as the skinniest person alive but the chances of survival are very little then. So once you've accepted that, accept that you need to reach a healthy weight.  If you struggle with an eating disorder there is no trying to make a deal with your ED where you agree to gain until a certain weight which is still underweight. Recovering means letting go of your weight and calorie obsession, not letting those control you. Not feeling triggered by people who weigh less than you or are skinnier than you. But also not getting triggered if other people are on diets or talking about not eating carbs or going 100 days without sugar or doing a squat challenge. You can't let those things bother you because there will always be people, and maybe people in your close friends/family who are talking about and doing diets or different challenges. Just because a person decides to eat little carbs doesnt mean they have an eating disorder, then the whole LCHF community would have eating disorders, but that is not the case. However a typical behaviour of someone with an eating disorder or restrictive eating disorder is eating little or less carbs but that behaviour doesnt mean you have an illness. Its about everything else, the thoughts, behaviour, mindset of the person.

It can be hard to accept that there will be people who are naturally very skinny, but your focus should be your own health. Not just skinniness, because skinny doesnt mean healthy and neither does underweight. Your focus should be healthy for you and your body. Stop comparing yourself to others, wondering why others can still be very skinny... Everyone is different and hating on others is not a good idea. Everyone looks different and have different body types if your body type is not naturally very lean (which only x% of the world naturally have) then dont try to force yourself to maintain that body shape. It is also important to remember that after a restrictive eating disorder you often need to reach a BMI of 20-23 before the body starts to function properly. Though some maintain and are healthy and the body works fine at a BMI of 19 or 20, those are still healthy weights but generally, the body has been through so much and been very stressed for a long time so it needs to weigh more to feel safer after the eating disorder. Though that is also a generalisation, everyone is different. But also areminder, dont focus so much on actual numbers such as weight or BMI, those things aren't so relevant.... it really doesnt matter if you are a BMI 18 or 22, the important thing is that your body is healthy and so is your Mind! Because it is your thoughts and behaviour you need to change as well.... you need to overcome your fears, overcome the things holding you back and controlling you. Fight your triggers and the ED thoughts.

Focus on what is best and healthiest for you. Stop comparing yourself to others and hating other people because they look a certain way. Instead, learn to love yourself and not feel the need to change yourself. Not feel the need to be the skinniest or be the "best" or most lean. Just focus on being a healthy and happy version of you which you can live with.

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