Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Eat breakfast - its the best way to start the day

Breakfast is one of my favourite parts of the day and usually i wake up hungry, and if i dont then i go for a walk or a run and come back and am hungry. But this morning i was not hungry at all and as it was pouring with rain outside i didnt feel so tempted to go out for a walk, so instead i waited it out and hoped to feel hungry but still i didnt. So then i just ate a small breakfast anyway as i knew i was going to the gym and needed energy. In the past i used to workout pre breakfast, and i dont know how i managed. I am fine walking or running before breakfast, but not strength training... then i just feel like jelly if i havent eaten before hand.

When i got to the gym i didnt have an energy, the weights just felt heavy, my body and muscles suddenly hurt and i gave up after the second exercise and instead decided to work on my flexibility and stretch! Thats important as well, and it made me think about how i like being "all round trained". I dont just focus on one thing.... i do compound and full body strength training exercises and i would say i am kind of strong, i could be stronger if i gave it 110% but i like to focus on other things as well. I can run fast and do intervals but i can also run long distance, i can do back bends and headstands and hopefully i will be able to do the splits again. I do boxing and want to begin climbing again and even begin doing crossfit. For me exercise is about being healthy and happy, not being the fastest or the strongest or most lean... but about what i enjoy doing. I like knowing that i can do all types of things, i can bend, run fast, run far, lift heavy etc For me, thats what i enjoy.. but its ok to just enjoy one form of exercise as well, but i personally prefer being able to do all types of things. Because in the end, who cares if you can squat 150kg but can barely run 500m, or thats my opinion anyway. (personal blog = personal opinon)

After a short while of stretching i headed home and made myself some lunch, took the dog for a walk and then i have just sort of lain in bed. Not a productive day at all..... but i blame it on the weather... it has still been a positive day anyway :) And now I am baking scones for myself and the family!!

Tomorrow its my appointment at Mando... and i really dont want to. Its this feeling of "No no no no no. Dont make me. I dont want to" feeling which i get with most hospital appointments. But its just to make myself feel super confident and go in there and "rock it". However when i am there, i cant help but get overcome with memories from my time there. And by the end of the appointment i am mentally exhausted and dont want to do anything, just feel like its so much all at once... so many questions, so many memories and just "so much".

Anyway, moving onto other things, i realised today that Miley Cyrus has a dream catcher tattoo on her ribs as well as a "just breathe tattoo" -_- I wasnt aware of this, hahahah, i really hope it doesnt seem like i am copying her, i do have more creativity and freewill than that. I mean i wasnt even aware of the fact that she had both of them.... i feel really awkward now like, if people know that she has those two tattoos and then they see that i have both of them as well... will they think that i am copying her? When in actuality my tattoos have so much meaning behind them!! Weird, but i guess its hard to be original now a days and my 3 tattoos are FAR from original as well as very typical placings of those tattoos. XD Just something i found out today!!

Now.. continue eating chocolate and drinking coffee!

^^This is how i feel right now XD


  1. For me it's also exhausting and a little depressing to go to the hospital forcheckups. I still feel such anger towards the people who caused me so much trauma and pain there. But time heals everything, right? U_U Do you mind writing a little about advice on how to let go of the past and heal your mind after such things? I would appreciate it very much <3 :) I mean it was more than a year ago but that is still a pretty fresh wound if you ask me :/ thank you very much Izzy :)

  2. ah good luck for tomorrow honey, I'm sure you will smash it! but can understand how depressing it can be to have to go back to the same haunt. I hope it goes well honey. If you have time at some point in the future would you mind writing a post on how to cope once you're out of an in patient setting and back at home. How you go from being watched 24/7 to having to be strict with yourself it's something I'm really struggling with as i haven't much support, well hardly any since leaving hospital esp where food and weight is concerned. Anyway back to tom, walk in there with your head held high cos you rock girlfriend and this is your time to shine! xx be thinking of u x

  3. good luck! that chocolate and peanuts looks so good x

  4. i would really like advice on this too, my time in hosp has really damaged me and they continue to do so when i have to see them as an out patient for check ups. i feel they just say crap and put me down and then i have to rally myself back together so that i can continue with my recovery fight. i hate them and what they did to me. People think when you go in hospital you get helped not emotionally traumatised