Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, September 5, 2015

Burning lungs and a rising pulse

With a medal round my neck and wrapped up in warm clothes lying on my bed, its time to think back over the past few hours! My blog, the place i like to document things like this... even if you might not find it interesting, i like to do it for myself. Because in a few years i might look back and read about my first "Tjejmil" 2015 and then i can read about my thoughts and how i felt during the race, compare to how it is then!!

If any of you do find it interesting, you can also follow my snapchat Izzy-m1 where i have documented a little today. And also do random viddeos of daisy and other things in my life. So you have 24 hours to see those race photos/videos :)

Onto the actual race.... i got there at 12pm and my starting time, the first group wasnt until 13pm. So it was just to queue to the bathroom... then go sit down, then get up and queue again. Then do a little warm up and then it was time to start walking to the race entry and start line!! With 30 minutes to go i stood there, in roughly the first 200 women and felt excited but also tired. Should have eaten something before the race such as rice cakes or something to give me that extra energy, would have kept me from getting cramps during the run as well!! Ohh well, that was just bad planning from my side!!
   One of the things i hate about races is when you are standing there by the start line and you know you have 20 minutes until the race and you just sort of have to stand there. Many people feel excited and happy at that stage, but i just want to start running, i dont want to stand there and jump up and down!! Hahah, i sound so bitter!!!

Finally at 13.00 the horn went off and it was time to start running and right from the beginning my legs felt heavy and slow. I felt a bit like this:



The first 3km went quickly but after that it felt extremely hard to breathe. Try running with a straw in your mouth and breathing through that straw... thats exactly how it felt. My muscles not getting the oxygen needed and my heart began to seriously hurt - beating very fast as it tried to keep up. By 5km i had to 1) run into one of the portaloos because nature was calling and 2) walk a few hundred meters because my heart was hurting so much. It actually terrified me alot so i had to slow down my pace and keep pushing forward. Then sometime by 7km i had to stop and slow down because i was so warm that i had to unpin my number bib and pin it to my shorts and then run in my sports bra, But i got a little rest there and let my heart beat slow down! Then from 8-10km were just a  pain and i wanted it to be over. No more running, i wanted to lie down on the ground and refuse to ever run again. Though once you cross the finish line and you get your medal you feel so proud, so happy and you know that you want to do it again and dont regret a second of it. Even if there were times during the run that you wanted to lie on the ground, cry and refuse to get up and move. Running isnt always easy and whoever says it is, is lying.... There are runs you enjoy less than others, and some runs dont go as well as others but in the end it is still something you love and want to do again and again!!! Thats what makes running so special :)

I didnt think that my run went so well but i finished with a time of 51 something... so not so bad, but time doesnt really matter. I finished the race in one piece and thats what matters and i enjoyed it somewhat, hahah XD

Also, while walking to meet my mum after the race a follower of mine came up and said "hi". I felt so shocked but it was so much fun, also being told im an inspiration. Put a huge smile on my face :):) Makes me want to continue with eveyrthing i do and all my social media, to get feedback and to meet readers/followers is so much fun!!! :) So to any of my swedish followers/readers, if you ever see me.... dont be scared to say hi. I do have this "resting bitch face" but trust me, i amnt a bitch... or i dont think so anyway!!! It is just fun if someone who reads my blog or follows me on IG recognizes me and wants to say hi!! :)

I also had luck with the weather because as i was walking to the car it began to rain, but it had been lovely weather while i ran! I felt bad for those who hadnt even started running yet and it was rainy and cold. But i am sure they will have lots of fun anyway! There is no bad weather, just bad clothes. I have always hated this quote, but it is true... i have realised this myself, that running in the rain isnt so bad as long as you are wearing the right clothing!

Anyway, now i need some physical and mental rest before i see what my plans for the evening are!!!

Hope you all have a lovely Saturday!!









^^When i had fininshed, the skies didnt look that great.











6 comments:

  1. well done izzy so proud of you, know it was hard but good on you for sticking it thru. i love your outfit and your socks make me smile. always a big fan of pink me. hope u get some well earnt rest xxx

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    1. Thank you!! Haha they're compression socks so keep me from getting pain in my calves but also they look great, so that's a bonus! Can't get eniugh pink :)

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  2. Well done Izzy!! :D I'm glad you kept on going and the race went well.

    I hope you have a nice rest -- I also went for a jog with my dog this evening and had fun.. worked up an appetite ;) Xx

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    1. Thank you!! That sounds so nice, I used to run with daisy but now she is kind of out of shape so I don't think it would work. But it's nice to have a companion! :) hope you had a nice evening.

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