I dont think that is an unhealthy mindset. If your goal was just to have 6 pack abs and 5% body fat then it wouldnt be a very healthy mindset because you would still be too focused on the physical and your appearance when in recovery you want to move away from those things. Accept your appearance and know that you dont have to be the skinniest or have no fat on your body etc
It is absolutely possible to love yourself and your body and still want to improve it, which sounds a bit like your goal. And if you have been strong before then i can understand why you would want to go back to that. For me, when i first began exercising i was a complete cardio bunny. I struggled alot with finding balance with exercise so i did alot of cardio as i didnt think i had exercised enough if i hadnt done my X minutes of cardio, but i began strength training because i felt my arms were too skinny. My body naturally holds weight in my legs, hips and thighs while my upper body was still very thin... so my main reason to begin strength training was to get bigger arms, and then i fell inlove with strength training. So having a goal such as wanting to be stronger or able to do pull ups or just to feel capable of doing things, not feeling weak (which was a strong motivator for me) are good goals. That was a long answer! And this is just subjective, some might say that it isnt good goals, but i think they are good goals and dont have to be ED related.
And exercise which doesnt feel like exercise.... there are many team sports which are exercise but dont feel like it as you are with others and just having fun. When you are doing something on your own, then you know its exercise but with others its more fun and social as well. Maybe basketball, handball (If you have that in your country), tennis, swimming (you can take group classes), pilates, yoga, running groups (those are very fun!), outside workouts (if you have them where you live), gym classes (if you find ones you like they are alot of fun! Such as spinning, Bodycombat, Bodypump, step up classes etc etc), dancing..... dare to try something new, you might find that there is one or several types of exercise which you really enjoy and can be great to do :)
P.s. if I really wanted to get my flexibility back, i.e. splits/stretches and also be able to do those awesome crazy things people do like headstands and cool shapes, what do yoy suggest? I know your mom is a yoga teacher but would yoga itself help? I'd be able to do those cool things/flexible through that? Or is there something else you suggest?
Stretching and yoga would be helpful for that :) Make sure to be warmed up before stretching and do a little everyday or a few times each week and you will notice progress. When it comes to headstands and handstands there are great videos online you can use to help you, and if you can maybe get someone to help you or stand behind/infront of you so that you dont injure yourself. But i think yoga is great for everyone (there are many types of yoga) as it can help people to stress less, feel more calm and relaxed as well as having so many health benefits. Unfortunately ive tried yoga several times and its not something i enjoy so havent been able to commit to it.
But the best thing to reach your goal of flexibility is to dare to try them and to keep practising - but make sure you feel "flexible" enough before trying, dont want to injure yourself because you try to do some move and the body isnt ready.
If I could just ask a quick question. If yoy have any advice. I usually eat the same meals for every meal (or certain ones I know of so it slightly varies) but that is because I know the total calorie content to eat meal. So for the longest time my breakfast has to be x amount of calories, snack x amount, lunch x amount, and so on. So whenever I get my food ready I don't have what I necessarily want but what l fit that calorie number and it can't go above. The reason is I'm scared I'll gain weight too quickly as I want it to be gradual. But it has been lije this for a looong time but I want to get out of it but I can't. I don't want to reach my goal weight and still have to count these calories and make sure every meal is the same. But then I'll gain weight if I don't aND go over. What do j do?
The first thing to remember is that the body is not a calculator... you can eat more one day and your body wont suddenly gain weight. I know it doesnt feel like it, it can feel like once you eat 20kcal more than usual suddenly you will gain 500g, but that is not the truth. You need to dare to eat more and eat differently, because otherwise you will be stuck in these routines and controlling ways of eating. It wont magically happen that you will allow yourself to eat differently or more, things wont change just because you gain weight.... you need to keep fighting those rules and control your eating disorder has.
The first thing is to think... i need to gain weight so who cares if i gain more one week. That is not the end of the world, because one way or another you will have to reach your goal weight.
Two, what is so bad if you do gain "more" one week?
I want to ask you (maybe a stupid questions, im so sorry), is binge eating if someone eat around 2000-2500 cal per day ? Im recovered but not fully yet, but i will :) I want to eat according my hunger but if I eat according my hunger I eat daily only 1300 cal or something like that and its bullshit. Thanks :-*
There are no stupid questions so dont worry about that :) No, that is not binging. If you were to eat 2500kcal at once and you felt you had no control and you ate and ate then that might be classified as a binge. But 2500 kcal in a while day, that is what your body needs!! :) So keep giving your body the energy it needs and its great that you know better and can eat the right amount rather than very little just because your hunger signals might not be working properly. I am proud of you :)
if you have time would you mind writing about what to do in periods of extreme hunger. i am often starving and all the info i read just says eat but i can't eat like 6000 calories like it says so wondered how to cope without eating so much. it triggers panic attacks and scares me that i may lose control and binge and also leaves me in physical pain too. thks x
If you are going through extreme hunger from restrictive eating, then eating what your body tells you is the best... even if that means like 6000kcal. All that energy will be used to repairing your organs, and extreme hunger doesn't last that long but if you ignore it, it can end up triggering binges as you have felt this constant hunger but ignored it so then it is like something snaps and you just eat and eat and eat and it becomes uncontrollable.
But if you feel like you dont dare to eat what your body is telling you, then atleast eat MORE. Not sure if you are following a meal plan or not, but if you are, then eat bigger portions. Add in dessert or extra to your meals, take more. Because right now your body needs more food, it wants more energy as it is trying to repair itself so give your body the energy it needs. By following a meal plan and just eating bigger portions it means you are still eating regularly and keeping routines but giving your body more energy it needs, and then when you feel that the extreme hunger is passed either keeping eating the same or go back to your original meal plan. Food is fuel and hunger means that your body needs food. Think, you have put your body through alot and it hasnt felt safe and hasnt gotten the energy or nutrients it needs, and now it is saying "give me food, give me energy, give me nutrients", its way of saying "i have been starved and now i need lots of energy to repair the damage and to make sure that if we starve again, then the body can atleast have some energy to last on": Allow yourself to eat more and see how you feel, the extreme hunger will pass eventually.
If i have missed anyones comment, then please either resend the comment or comment on the post you had commented "such as... you didnt answer my question or "look at the comment above" etc" as i dont see all comments and i dont always check my own posts :/ But i dont mean to ignore you.