Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.
I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!
If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Answer - comment
What I really think is you're hypocritical. Do you actually like helping people or do you just like all the attention you get? Because really, you don't stay in regular contact with many other bloggers trying to reach out to you. You don't read their blogs or support any of them as religiously as they support you. You never miss a single day of blogging as I assume you are too much of a people pleaser. You never consider that with everything you write and all the advice you give that you may be wrong and consider alternative opinions. You keep going on about how positive and happy is your attitude every single day when it's at times just unrealistic and a cover up. You have no idea what depression really is, go read all the descriptions of people who actually have mental illnesses and how much they know about it when you are anti-therapy, anti-medication and "just think positive and it will all go away" instead of actually facing your feelings and dealing with them. You go on and on about how much you love sport and weight training when a big part of it is because you love looking "fitspo".You don't sincerely care about other people or their stories. You just pretend to so that you can keep all the attention. In reality you are very self-centred.
There is alot about this comment which irritates me, so I don't really know where to begin. But I guess the aim of your comment was to be hurtful or irritate me? I try to not let comments bother or affect me because not everyone will like me,I understand that. You only see a version of me and what I choose to post but also you make your own judgments of me... you see me differently to how I actually am or how I see myself. I do accept constructive criticism, even if I am the worst person at accepting criticism, but if you tell me that my posts are boring or repetitive or that I really need to start thinking about my grammar or change the font of my texts, I take that into consideration and try to improve and change.
But with comments like this I don't really know what to say. Despite only sleeping 4-6 hours per night I can still feel like there isn't enough time to get everything done. Granted I an a little slower at the moment and maybe not the most productive either, which is why replying to emails is going a little slower but I think, I can't help others if I can't help myself. Blogging and replying to emails I do in my freetime and because I choose to help, not because I have to. During my good times I can answer anything from 10-30 emails per day several days in a row. And then I try to write and schedule posts as well as reply to comments. But there isn't time to help everyone, unfortunately. But also I do this because I like helping but I am just a girl with a blog, you DO NEED professional help. Don't just rely on my advice, do search professional help and talk to people outside of the online world. This is important to remember.
And no, unfortunately I don't read alot of people's blogs. I follow 5 or 6 recipe/training blogs and that is all I have time for. I don't have time to read everyone's blogs or to comment everywhere, I barely did that when I began blogging either. Of course if you comment on my blog and leave your link then when I have time i might click on your blog and leave a comment or read a few posts, but my life is not one wuth an eating disorder. My life does not revolve around eating disorders,I feel no need to read recovery blogs. I write advice when I can and try my best to help, but outside of my blog I am a normal girl who is trying to find work, trying to figure out my future. Spend time with friends, family and my boyfriend and on the side I spend 2-4 hours each day writing posts and emailing. It might not seem like I spend alot of time, but I do. Whenever I know I am going away I make sure to schedule posts because I want to, not because I have to.
Also I get comments on my blog, emails, direct messages on instagram, comments /questions on instagram, messages on tumblr and I even get messages on snapchat. ... It is almost impossible to answer all of those individual questions each day.
And dont tell me that I don't know what depression is. Depression is different for everyone but I am choosing to not publish just how awful I am feeling at the moment. Is my positive thinking a cover up? Maybe, but that is because I want to think positive and believe that it is alot more beneficial than just thinking negative. Does it cure depression... no. If positive thinking cured depression then I wouldn't feel as awful as I do, but I believe it can help. I personally don't want anti depressants but if they work for you, then take them but I choose to not take medication. And with therapy, I believe therapy and a therapist can be great help and I am sure I would benefit from going to one,but I have been to therapists before and they haven't helped me... but that's me personally. Everyone is different.
On this blog you only see a small part of myself and my life,I don't post every thought I have... If I did, this blog would turn into a dark, depressive and very negative blog which i don't want. I want it to be positive and inspiring so I keep posting positivity. And with fitness. ... yes just because I go to the gym and eat salads I'm suddenly fitness obsessed? You can think what you want I can't really change your opinion. And if you think that i workout just to seem "fitspo" that is ridiculous, i get so many accusations and hate because i workout and people call me "still sick" because i workout. But i workout for myself and because i love it, hence why i dont even post out each time i workout just sometimes. I dont need to post everything i do online, i do keep things private even if i do choose to share some moments and thoughts from my life. But i am far from "fitness".... i promote health and balance, which is different for everyone, but finding your own moderation and balance. That is what i believe and try to promote, if i wanted to be fitness i would start posting photos every time im at the gym and post all my egg whites and brocolli to seem so "super healthy".
And lastly.... You think I just want the attention? You have no idea how many times I've cried because of my blog and considered shutting down my blog because it is very time consuming And stressful to blog and then to get comments like this? You could say that because my blog is open and public well then people can comment what they want and of course you can, but some things people comment or email me are extremely hurtful. I am just a human and things do affect me.
I think your comment was just rude and unnecessary. You don't know me, how I think or what I do during the days. I am a human being and I try my best to help people but everyone has their flaws and I can't reply to every email or every comment or help everyone. That is not possible when you have thousands of readers and get 10-20 emails each day asking for help.
Just these 5 days away on holiday and I have gotten more than 50 emails and I have no idea when I will get around to answering them because I am feeling so low myself and need to try to figure out my own life and how to help myself before I can begin helping others.
If I didn't care about other people and helping people I wouldn't have this blog. I wouldn't put so many hours towards my email and blog each day, I could do other things with my time. But I like helping people, hence why I want to work with that in the future.
Anyway, before this post gets too long I want to say thank you to everyone who comments and emails me positive and nice messages or those with constructive feedback! And thank you to everyone who chooses to read my blog!