Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Ramble of thoughts

I think one of the hardest things for people who don't suffer from mental illnesses is to understand just how awful it is. How depression can make it so hard just to function,  to get out of bed, to live a normal life.  How the tiredness takes over, makes it almost impossible to function like a normal person. Yiu aren't being lazy or rude when you say that you don't want to meet people or are tired.  It's the truth. You aren't being rude when you can't seem to smile or laugh at things,but it's because there is a dark cloud above your head. It is so incredibly hard to explain to people how it is to suffer from any form of mental illness. Because even if people can be sympathetic and try to understand it is hard to fully understand something you've been through.  Just like I can never understand how it is to suffer from cancer, others can't understand how it is to suffer from an eating disorder, anxiety, depression. Though I always recommend talking to people when yiu feel down, because people can try to understand and try to help,  which is important. Even if they can't fully understand.

But I just find that sometimes when I am feeling really low and so tired that I can't physically get out of bed, too tired to socialise. It can be hard to explain that to other people, as those who don't suffer from something like a mental illness can't understand  how the tiredness is both a physical and mental one. Like a barrier stopping you from functioning properly. But you can break free from that!!

This post is just some form of . rambling, trying to get thoughts out of my head. I would never ever wish anyone to suffer from a mental illness, but sometimes I wish that it was easier to explain and that people understood. That when I say I am tired, when I say that I don't have energy or don't want to meet, it's not because I am being rude or mean, but because I don't have the mental energy. That all ixwant to do is avoid people and life for a few days. But I guess that is not always the best option,  that infact meeting people is the best medicine. But just sometimes. ... you need to be allowed to be on your own, and I wish that that was ok without feeling guilty for saying no. :/


  1. Dear Izzy, I am so sorry you are suffering this. I am one the people who does know what it is like - though I have always found it passes eventually, even if one has to wait and wait. There are millions and millions of people who do know, but I know that doesn't really stop it seeming isolating at the time. Do you know the "true champions" videos on depression, featuring Erin Schulthies? I wonder whether they might help convey what it is like to people who haven't experienced anything close enough to understand? I don't mean that as a "fix", I know there isn't a fix. You are held in my thoughts and prayers as long as this lasts. Thank you for all you give in your life and on your blog.

  2. Exactly! I unfortunately have/ sometimes still do experience this feelin' and it isn't great.. I have found that not isolating myself and pushing myself to be sociable does help, as it eventually passes over time. x

  3. Don't feel guilty for saying no. I think the fact that it is so hard to explain the feeling of depression is one of the reasons it hits you so bad. Because depression succeeds into making you believe you should be sorry about it. It's an illness yet it convinces you that somehow it is your fault, and the fact that you cannot even explain it to people doesn't leave you room to justify yourself. You're just stuck in between feeling but not knowing how to describe it and the vicious circle is on again. We shouldn't have to be sorry for it. But when that happens, it's good to remember. Remember all we could be missing out. Remember those precious times when we are free. Remember that we are more than that. That it's all in our head. And that after the rain, the sun always comes back up. - Carine

  4. I can relate one hundred percent. I think it's okay to have those days where you do next to nothing and stay under the covers. Depression is NOT all in your head. It has physical effects due to a lack of neurotransmitters and changes in brain structure. You need to rest and take care of yourself just as you would if you had the flu or anything else. Depression is a protective mechanism of reserving your energy and forcing you to rest whilst your brain tries to recover. Just take really good care of yourself and nurture yourself until it passes. X

    1. Aren't neurotransmitters and brain structure in your head though ^^ I never wanted to say depression is a product of the imagination, quite the opposite, it just happens, but like with a throat candy, there are ways to ease the discomfort. Just wanted to clarify