Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Friday, August 28, 2015

My thoughts at the moment & oreo cheesecake

Feeling a lack of creativity and what to write, so if you have any topic suggestions or questions, COMMENT below and i will try to fix some posts for this weekend :)

I feel like i have absaloutly nothing to write, and in a sense i dont really. I have things to do each day, but at the same time not much is being done. Just sort of waiting until October until i get to know whether i get into my courses or not. Trying to write personal letters for the different stores i am going to seek jobs. Trying to get my life together. Getting asked the question "what the hell are you doing with your days now?" makes me feel panicked and stressed. What am i doing?
I hate thinking that way, i hate knowing that there isnt much i can do apart from wait - in some sense. Of course i can apply to small courses, search for jobs (which i am doing) etc but at the same time, moving city, going to uniersity, starting the complementary courses... i cant do any of those things yet, i just need to wait.

I am filling my days with helping others online, blogging, trying to get in contact with people or businesses. Going to the gym, spending time with family, friends my boyfriend. And also... trying to keep myself motivated each day. Trying to keep my head above water and not let myself fall even further. Each day focusing my thoughts on the positive. Focusing on being kind to myself, taking time for myself. It's not always easy, but i know i can get through the bad times and then the good times will feel even better and seem more amazing!

Today my aunt came over so that we could talk about our trip to Lisbon which is in 2 weeks time, and I am super excited. Just want to get away right now, see something new, do new things.
Then this evening i am going to my boyfriends, hopefully that will make me feel better, because at the moment i just feel very low and would most of all just like to sleep away the days. But that isnt useful or good, instead need to keep up with routines and habits, somewhat anyway! Anyway, focus on the positive instead of the negative. Tomorrow is a new day, and i am more than welcoming it. XD

How are you spending your Friday?








12 comments:

  1. I kinda know how you feel! I'm starting at University soon {which I'm just so excited about!}. Yet, despite keeping to a routine and busy each day doing lots of things.. it is hard to keep positive and feelin' happy all the time.

    Today has been a rather quiet day -- I'm just hoping that the weekend will be better. x

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  2. You bring me a huge amount of inspiration and warmth. I love reading about your daily life and the ways you keep above water! I am so grateful for you. Please don't feel like you aren't doing anything with your days! You are giving a huge amount, and you have been for a long time. One day, I am sure that will be recognised and you will flourish in some role that really suits you. Waiting is hard, but it is part of life -- and it is always part of life, even when you are on the course or in the job or whatever, there are always uncertainties in the future and one has to wait and try to hold onto the light. You have so many gifts and you use them so well. Thank you for sharing your life so beautifully.

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  3. Not being rude but just wondering if you have lost weight? Also wondering if you could write an update in your exercise and workout program?

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  4. I loved this post. For once, I'm not going to specify the reasons, why. It just made me glad.

    Today I had my very first ballet class. It really picked me up - not that I had been particularly down, though. It has been raining all day and I'm starting to get ready for the fall mood. You know, the reserved silence inside and the slight press against your chest. The way it holds your body.

    Such poem, much creative. But very truth as well

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  5. Not trying to come off as nosy, but on one of your most recent Instagram posts you showed what some may consider a 'big meal' with the caption that was something along the lines of 'weight-gain time'. Then you changed the caption to something else later on. I was just curious, have you lost and/are trying to gain back or is it kind of like a 'muscle bulk', and why did you delete the caption :)?

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    1. Ive lost a few kilo over the past few weeks, so i want to regain them as i know that that is where my body feels best and i hopefully wont feel as tired. Because at the moment i am feeling quite tired and i think that is my body telling me that right now it needs more food (and more rest).

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  6. hi izzy

    thanks so much for all ur helpful posts ur a diamond thank u. U asked for post ideas so i just wondered if you wouldn't mind talking about hunger and fullness (I'm sorry if u already have and have exhausted the subject). I am really struggling i have been slowly upping my calories over the last year from nothing to now about 1800, i find it really hard to add in calories cos its like i have to go against my ill head and that means wgt gain and this terrifies me even thou i do want to put weight on, i just find seeing the scales go up terrifying and i feel guilty for adding food in etc. i feel greedy and feel everyone thinks I'm a pig. especially cos I've been telling people i feel hungry which as an anorexic is hard to admit. But you see i am actually starving, it scares me everyday, I'm having to fill up on liquid and I've now had to have some cucumber at night to stop the hunger pains that keep me awake. It's not just I'm feeling a bit peckish, its painful hunger. I don't know what to do as I'm scared that I'm going to binge and lose control. I hate feeling this hungry, i never felt this hungry before and i was on nothing but milk when i was in a general hospital cos i was so full and felt sick. But I'm eating more now and thus i can't explain it. I don't know if I'm eating the wrong things ie.no fats. I've made myself a food plan of meals and snacks but i don't know if I'm eating enough at meals in terms of calories and what a normal portion should look like. I am eating off side plates and every mouthful is so hard. Yet I'm hungry. I still have quite a bit of weight to gain thou i have already gained a lot. My body image and bdd isn't helping cos i just look disgusting all pot belly and this makes me want to not put weight on even thou i know i have to to be well. Im always thinking about food and calories and weight and it does my head in, i don't have much help and thus your blog has kept me going thank you. Im also struggling with the lack of exercise i do yoga but haven't gone to gym or run and this makes me scream and i find it so hard to deal with sitting down, like today i sat with a friend and her newborn but now I'm scared the scales will rocket tom, i don't know how to accept the weight gain esp when it leaps up. sorry this is a rather long message I'm just a bit lost but please don't feel you have to reply i know you're super busy. love and hugs x

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  7. I'm sorry to say this but most of the time you dress like a whore

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for your input, I am sure i will change my outifts now because an anonymous person doesnt like how i dress.

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    2. omg who is this person - ignore them izzy they are just jealous cos you are so beautiful! xxx

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    3. haha, first time i have gotten one of these comments. There is always a first ;);)

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    4. there will always be one bad apple in a basket of good. you have to speak like in clueless and say "whatever!" lol! god where do they find these weirdos! x

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