Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 3, 2015

My day - Cf clinic

It has been a long time since I have left the hospital and feeling like crying. I have been quite open about the fact that I hate the hospital and hate going there, for any reason. But because of my CF I have to and I have no choice, and that is just something I have to accept. And things usually go well there and it did go well, but also got results of some of the tests which were done a few weeks ago and well its not the results you want to hear. New medicine added,higher doses of medicine and it supposed to help my body but at the same time I know what medicine I am taking and I know how negatively it affects me as well. It's so strong and I will be taking it for several months so I am hoping that my mental health doesn't completely collapse. Though maybe I am being a little too dramatic, most probably. But I prefer to avoid medicine completely,  hahah can't do that when I have CF. The amount of medicine I have to pick up today is ridiculous!  XD

Picture on the left: How i actually felt... #bitch mode on, so to say. On with the glasses and loud music was what followed.
Right: Have to atleast put on a smile and flex and try to think positvely :) Take a good selfie and you feel a little better anyway :)

but on a positive note i got an increased dose of enzymes which should help with my stomach as the stomach pain is most likely due to malabsorption and my body not able to break down the food I am eating and it has been a continual thing so hopefully that will help and the stomach pain goes away! And most likely not a food intolerance, which I am so happy for. I mean, I love bread and quark... never want to give those things up. Though it wouldn't be unlikely that I have a gluten or lactose intolerance as my dad has celiac disease, my sister has both gluten and lactose intolerance as well as almost everyone on my mum's family having lactose intolerance. Have experienced a little problem with lactose but that is when I eat like 1kg-1,5kg lactose in a day which really isn't that great anyway! Also thought I would add that from my food diary done my average food intake is around 3200kcal. I never count calories but that is what I estimated, and have a roughly 30/30/40 (p/c/f) intake. Not that those numbers mean anything to you, as this is what MY body needs and it is my intuitive way of eating. But as I don't count calories or macros it was interesting to see all the numbers and percents and see how my intake looks :) I find that very interesting!!! Now hopefully my body can actually absorb all the nutrients and energy I eat with the increased dose of medicine!!! 

Bought myself 4 questbars today after my hospital appointments.... (3 have been eaten already)

Anyway, this evening I had planned to maybe meet my boyfriend though once I got home (after doing some things in town, then food shopping and getting all my medicines) I just didn't know how I was feeling anymore.  The stomach pain returned after breakfast and was a numb and uncomfortable pain all throughout the day but atleast it's better :) despite wanting to meet my boyfriend I couldn't seem to motivate myself to leave the house.... I feel sorry for those around me when I feel like this, I tend to isolate myself and feel very low. Not want people to be around me because I don't want to burden others or talk about how I feel so I just keep to myself. Which might not be the best idea when all I really want to do is talk... but atleast I have my blog :) and to keep myself from being too lonely I am going to watch a film and eat some snacks with my sister and hoping that tomorrow I will feel like being more social!!!

P.s it's fun that so many of you have commented on my post about getting to know my readers.  I love reading more about you, and I will reply to you all once I get a chance!!!

Below you also see my standard conversations with my bf on FB.!!! Hahah.. 


  1. Hope the medicines help you :)
    Could you write a post about artificial sweeteners. Should we be careful with these. I mean a lot of "health" foods have so much sweeteners, including many protein powders. Should they be avoided?

    1. So far they have actually helped! ! And I'll try write a post about this :)

  2. I am so sorry your CF is giving you a hard time... however I know you are strong and will get through this tough patch. On a side note, I notice that whenever I eat quest bars, I get HORRIBLE stomach cramps, constipation, and digestion issues for 1-2 days, and it only happens from quest bars. The fiber in them bothers my stomach, which makes me really sad since I love them. Just as a suggestion, try not having them for a while and see how you feel. Eating three would probably cause you a lot of pain, but everyone is different!
    Hope you feel better soon!

    1. I haven't eaten a questbar since around March, and they give me no problem. I bought them now to treat myself :) the fiber is no problem!

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  4. Hahahah the bf convos are freak in hilarious!!! Hahahahah

  5. I am so sorry that things did not go smoothly today at the hospital. I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, and I sure do hope things improve for you soon! <3

    1. Thank you so much!!! I hope you are doing well :):)

  6. I can't believe I get so surprised and bothered for you every time I read about your condition. It's like if I was learning it for the first time each time because you always manage to show how you have everything so well under control. I can't say I know you because, well I only get to see what you post here, but based on what I've seen, you're sooooo much more than all this, it's a fight you have mastered, you'll keep succeeding I have no doubt. And it's summertime!!!! Totally random but any reason is good to get excited about life, you taught me again how to appreciate that ;) Snapchat ? xoxo - Carine.

    1. I never really post about my CF here, even if somedays it is harder and not under control. And thank you, you are right.... finding the positives and things to be happy about makes everything better :)

      My snapchat is: izzy-m1 :)