Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Monday, August 3, 2015
My day - Cf clinic
It has been a long time since I have left the hospital and feeling like crying. I have been quite open about the fact that I hate the hospital and hate going there, for any reason. But because of my CF I have to and I have no choice, and that is just something I have to accept. And things usually go well there and it did go well, but also got results of some of the tests which were done a few weeks ago and well its not the results you want to hear. New medicine added,higher doses of medicine and it supposed to help my body but at the same time I know what medicine I am taking and I know how negatively it affects me as well. It's so strong and I will be taking it for several months so I am hoping that my mental health doesn't completely collapse. Though maybe I am being a little too dramatic, most probably. But I prefer to avoid medicine completely, hahah can't do that when I have CF. The amount of medicine I have to pick up today is ridiculous! XD
Right: Have to atleast put on a smile and flex and try to think positvely :) Take a good selfie and you feel a little better anyway :)
but on a positive note i got an increased dose of enzymes which should help with my stomach as the stomach pain is most likely due to malabsorption and my body not able to break down the food I am eating and it has been a continual thing so hopefully that will help and the stomach pain goes away! And most likely not a food intolerance, which I am so happy for. I mean, I love bread and quark... never want to give those things up. Though it wouldn't be unlikely that I have a gluten or lactose intolerance as my dad has celiac disease, my sister has both gluten and lactose intolerance as well as almost everyone on my mum's family having lactose intolerance. Have experienced a little problem with lactose but that is when I eat like 1kg-1,5kg lactose in a day which really isn't that great anyway! Also thought I would add that from my food diary done my average food intake is around 3200kcal. I never count calories but that is what I estimated, and have a roughly 30/30/40 (p/c/f) intake. Not that those numbers mean anything to you, as this is what MY body needs and it is my intuitive way of eating. But as I don't count calories or macros it was interesting to see all the numbers and percents and see how my intake looks :) I find that very interesting!!! Now hopefully my body can actually absorb all the nutrients and energy I eat with the increased dose of medicine!!!
Bought myself 4 questbars today after my hospital appointments....
(3 have been eaten already)
Anyway, this evening I had planned to maybe meet my boyfriend though once I got home (after doing some things in town, then food shopping and getting all my medicines) I just didn't know how I was feeling anymore. The stomach pain returned after breakfast and was a numb and uncomfortable pain all throughout the day but atleast it's better :) despite wanting to meet my boyfriend I couldn't seem to motivate myself to leave the house.... I feel sorry for those around me when I feel like this, I tend to isolate myself and feel very low. Not want people to be around me because I don't want to burden others or talk about how I feel so I just keep to myself. Which might not be the best idea when all I really want to do is talk... but atleast I have my blog :) and to keep myself from being too lonely I am going to watch a film and eat some snacks with my sister and hoping that tomorrow I will feel like being more social!!!
P.s it's fun that so many of you have commented on my post about getting to know my readers. I love reading more about you, and I will reply to you all once I get a chance!!!
Below you also see my standard conversations with my bf on FB.!!! Hahah..