Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, August 23, 2015

Focusing on the positives

Sometime before 12pm i managed to leave the house and walk to the gym. The sunshine and fresh air always helps, and then listening to new music always adds a positive note. First off it was intervals, and it was the first time i have done those in a while, but now i feel ready to get back at it. Then i decided to do some technique training and i got complemented on my form and strength and was asked if i was training for anything/going to compete. I've gotten asked this from others before and it is kind of flattering, it does make me want to compete in something, though first off it would be more focused and proper training, working towards a goal. But i must say, i followed some of the runners who ran the "Ultravasan" here in Sweden (90km) and seeing people complete things such as that, or Ironman is always such a motivator for me. I cant even comprehend how far 90km is... and actually running that far? Crazy. I also think it is a little extreme, i mean many people after running a marathon end up sick or with injuries because the immune system begins to decrease/lower after roughly 1-2 hours of exercise, so more than that and you are more likely to end up sick/catching a cold. But still, it amazes me how people can complete things such as running 100km, it might not ever be something i do (especially considering my body already has injuries due to my crazy obsessive days of exercise). But it can still be a source of motivation!

I also got some advice/help and technique training from one of the PT's at the gym. That was super helpful because sometimes you do things and dont even notice that they are a little wrong... it's like you compensate in a way and get comfortable doing that. For example, if you have had an injury and you try to work around that injury or pain and then another part of the body compensates and can later lead to problems. For me, i was doing more "arm movement/lifting" than necessary, most likely because i need to stretch my chest muscles more as well as having had shoulder pain before. But now i am aware of what i need to change and what i can do to help. So i think it's great when people who are knowledgable help others. Before i would have taken the help as a sort of attack on me... meaning that i couldnt take any form of critique at all, and i would have felt like crying. But now i  see it as a good thing, that he wanted to help me so that i dont do something wrong and end up with an injury.  :)

This evening my aunt is coming over for coffee and maybe staying for dinner, and my parents are also coming home today as well. :)

Otherwise... it is taking alot of mental strength to not scratch my tattoo. The scabs are forming (which will fall away) and it is itching like crazy. I am someone who doesnt have alot of patience or self control when it comes to things like that... i bite my nails, pick at scabs and can get these "Itch attacks" which leave me with red scars.... and i have no self control to stop myself. But now i am reminding myself that i paid alot for my tattoo and i dont want to ruin it by itching, though it is driving my crazy. Hahahah.... worst part about getting a tattoo according to me XD

This evening, trying to focus on the positives. Get rid of the dark cloud over my head that is weighing me down at the moment. All i can do is keep going though, and hopefully i feel more like myself tomorrow.


  1. Ultramarathons are very impressive, I read an article about a woman who won a 125km race but I don't remember any details... and of course Scott Jurek is amazing :) would you like to run an ultramarathon? You've done a half marathon so you can obviously run :D
    Same, before, whenever someone gave me advice I took it as criticism and felt very embarrassed and ashamed. But I realised that advice and help are helpful and necessary for us to improve. So now I am glad when someone cares enough to look at what I am doing ;)
    Could you maybe make a video of a part of your workout? I'm curious how you do it :)
    Have a lovely new week! ;*

    1. I think first I'm going to focus on completing a marathon and take it from there :) it is a source of motivation but I don't think my body could handle it and I wouldn't want to cause unnecessary illness or injuries, but never say never!!

      I usually workout alone and hate taking selfies when others are in the room, so don't know if I would want to film myself. But maybe someday, who knows :) have a lovely week!!

  2. Thank you for sharing your (beautiful) life even when you are low! Love & prayers for getting better from the "dark cloud" soon - and for staying strong as long as it lingers on...

    1. Naw thank you, that is so sweet of you!! I hope you have a great week!

  3. The worst part of a tattoo is definitely the itching! It is the WORST. I swear, chickenpox wasn't that bad haha. I kind of itch around the area and it feels ALMOST as good. Like, just above or below the tattoo haha. Tricks my brain...just a little. Sending good thoughts your way lovie!

    1. Thank you <3 At the moment i am just doing alot of patting (hahah) and rubbing lotion several times a day... it sort of helps. But needing lots of distractions at the moment. I never had this itching feeling with my 2 other tattoos, so feels strange, but hopefully it will pass within a week or two!