This post might be triggering as they are from my actual thoughts when i was struggling, but i thought it might be helpful to some of you to realise that the thoughts you have now, it IS possible to fight free from them. To change the way you think, to develop a healthy body image, a healthy mindset and not panic when eating or feel guilty for eating. Or to get anxiety each time you look in the mirror, it is possible to change your thoughts and live a healthier life and have a healthier mindset and feel good in your body!!
"I feel fat all the time.
Like when i look in the mirror, i hate it.
But its getting easier. Ive stopped thinking about it. It doesnt bother me so much anymore.
I know i've gained weight/gaining??
But thats just the way it is now.
I hate my mirror image. I hate looking at myself, i hate my body.
But i just keep repeating to myself, it wont always be like this. I'll learn to love my body, or atleast accept it.
Whats the point otherwise?
I know im strong, i know i'll survive. I wont always feel this way
I just keep eating (God... that sounds awful, as if im an obese person?? :O )"
"I hate looking at my legs, they look like two giant sausages. My stomach is huge as if im pregnant. And my hips and backbones are non-existent.
Feeling like this makes me want to just turn around and shout Stop. Dont make me go through this.
I felt so good yesterday. But today... the mirror is my worst enemy. I'm look at the food and just thinking ew.ew.ew. how much fat is in this? i know i shouldnt.
I mean gaining wieght is good, but sometimes i wonder, it just triggers things in my head, that can make it harder to continue. Because apart from being slightly underweight. I consider myself healthy?
I dont know anymore."
If i dont.. well what difference does it make, i dont like my body when im underweight, i dont like it when im healthy (or maybe i will?) but its better to be healthy and hate your body, then to be underweight and hate your body.
Or i suppose it is, anyway?
So i just have to hope that i'll like the way i look when i've gained weight... cus at the moment, i hate the way i look"
It feels like by gaining these last kilos.. my whole body will change.. as if i will suddenly have a muffin top, that my arms and legs will just be flab? I mean, the weight has to gosomewhere doesnt it?
People tell me that my body wont change... but i , who are they to tell me. Its my body?"
"I'm so tired of life. Tired of fighting. i want to be home, do what i want and no, i dont want to eat. i want to go back to the way i was... lose wieght. i hate being whatever weight i am. "
"I just want to be healthy...
Yes of course, i would have preferred to just stand in a dark room by myself all day. Hated people. They just got in the way.... i wanted to be on m own, do my own thing."