Depression

“Depression isn’t always crying your mascara off in the shower and playing sad songs in bed. Sometimes it’s not wanting to talk to anyone for days and other times it’s desperately needing to be around people. Sometimes depression is having no appetite even though you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday and sometimes it’s eating everything you have in the fridge. Depression isn’t your boyfriend holding you and telling you that it’s going to be okay. It’s sitting across the table, not eating, having him ask you what’s wrong and knowing that you’re ruining his night because you can’t seem to snap out of it and just be happy. It’s the frustrating feeling of desperately wanting to enjoy something and just fucking be normal for once. It’s keeping things a secret from the people you love because you don’t want them to look at you like you’re broken. No, depression isn’t beautiful black and white images. Depression is lonely and frustrating and mostly just fucking exhausting.”

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I can relate alot to this... depression isnt always visible, sometimes you smile and feel happy, but at the end of the day there is this sadness within you. An overwhelming sadness which you can't seem to break free from and you wonder how you could have smiled and laughed a few hours ago but suddenly be sitting alone and everything seems hopeless and awful. How you can go from laughing with friends to suddenly thinking about death and what it would be like to just jump infront of a train. Depression, just like other mental illnesses are silent killers. If you feel that you are suffering from depression, do ask for help or talk to someone. Don't let the sadness take over your life, thinking about death isn't normal. You can recover and get better from depression, but it takes time to find happiness, light and positivitiy again. But asking for help is the first step.