Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, August 24, 2015

Binging answer (masterpost)

I do struggle with this whole binging vs anorexia recovery thing! My BMI is healthy according to the numbers, and I have had periods for many years now, but when I was younger I was very underweight at times. I'm not entirely sure I believe that I have really reached what would have been my natural BMI, but the weight all goes on my stomach and I struggle with that, and I have been messing about with my weight for so long that I am not sure I really believe it would ever redistribute "properly". I'm not sure I would even know if it did, because (as some of your posts point out), I'm not sure I know what a normal healthy body looks like. You have an exceptionally slim, highly fit figure, but we're not all going to look like that I know I never would, but the media never offers normal healthy people. It's hard to know if I am a binge eater or an anorexic or both, and what health would really be like. I know I have an unhealthy relationship to food & body, but I find it really hard to know even what I am aiming for or how. It's hard to know when I need to listen to my body about eating and when I don't. I'm not sure whether my metabolism is healthy or not, it might be slow now after not eating sensibly for many years. This is a really complicated business!
But don't worry if you can't answer this! You don't nee
d to fix my problems! And they're not that serious -- I've muddled on for a long time and it's fine.

Hello, I am so sorry that you are struggling and been struggling for so long. It's tough when you have had a messed up relationship to food for a while. I can't diagnose you and the binging could be for many different reasons. It could be anorexia with binging episodes because of the restriction or it could be binge eating disorder with restriction to compensate. It depends which you do more of. But I would highly suggest you go to a doctor and a dietitian to get help.

 The first step you can do is to 1) know your triggers for either binging or restricting and Ty to overcome those. And 2).make a food journal for a week or two... think rationally, are you eating enough or not. And 3) then make a meal plan... do you need to add in a snack somewhere to keep your blood sugar stable? Add in more carbs/protein/fat? When do you binge and does something trigger it? As you can't really trust your bodies signals a meal plan is the best advice. You follow that and eat what it says, whether you ate hungry or not... and even if you want more, stick to the meal plan. It can be tough especially when your signals are everywhere but it does help. I've binged before (though I purged as a way to compensate then) and I could eat 2000-5000kcal in a matter of an 1-3 hours. It was awful and I could not trust my body at all. But returning to meal plan was what helped me. When your body gets the energy and nutrients it needs, then it will be easier for your body to find balance. To go uo/down depending where it feels best. And when the body is stressed and not functioning properly due to the binging and restricting then the weight does go ti the stomach as a sort of protection. But it might redistribute when the body feels safer. When it comes to binging or any eating disorder professional care is advised. Remember that it is your head and your thoughts you need to change as well as your behaviours. With yiur metabolism, when you eat regularly and the body feels safe your metabolism should improve as well, but when you go from eating huge amounts to very little the body is constantly in shock and stress. It doesn't feel safe which messes with your metabolism, hunger, fullness and other things inside the body. So the best is to find balance, which or course is easier said than done. But once again, a meal plan can help!!

Also, you wrote that your problems arent that serious, but to me they do sound serious. An eating disorder is serious, no matter what your weight. Binge eating is a serious eating disorder and nothing to feel ashamed about, not even if you have gone from restrictive to binging. That happens, you are not alone in that, there is help. It also means taking back some form of control. Not so much control that you restrict yourself,  but enough control to keep yourself from binging until binging is no longer a thought in your mind.

Below are some posts about binging which might be useful.

If you struggle with binge eating
Binge eating recovery plan
How to stop binging
Focusing too much on food
Binge eating / trigger foods
Binging and gaining weight after weight restoration
Restrictive to binging
Anorexia to bulimia

When it comes to an eating disorder though, the advice in the posts can be helpful and a kickstart, but i do believe that you should try to get proffessional help. Even if you dont believe that you are that sick, or that you are a normal weight so dont need help, i believe it can be helpful. Atleast going to a dietician, to get a meal plan made for you and your bodies needs :)


  1. Thank you so much, Izzy! I am really touched that you wrote all this in reply to me. You are so kind. And wise and good and generous in your help.... I probably shouldn't have asked, but I am really grateful for your response. Take care, and thank you....

    1. Thabk you :) you can always ask any question you have. If I can help I am happy to!! :)