Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Friday, August 28, 2015

Answers - calorie intake, relationships, bodies hunger and fullness cues

Hi I love your blog it has helped me alot . But i have a question currently im eating 1200 calories should i jump to 2500 or do this gradually? I'm scared of sudden weight gain.

Thank you :) I would first increase to about 1800, then increase to about 2200 and then increase again to around 2500-2800. I think jumping straight to 2500 will be too much for your stomach to handle but also your body and metabolism need to get used to gradual changes, the important thing is to keep increasing and not eat too little.

When you first increase your weight can go up, but that is mostly water weight and because of the shock to the body. Dont weigh yourself more than once a week, and dont freak out if you gain what you think is "alot". Keep eating what your body needs and dont decrease calories, that will make things worse and will make it harder for your body and metabolism to repair and recover. You need to gain the weight whether you gain 1,5kg a week or 0,5kg a week.

I have an issue on which I'd like your input. When entering into a relationship, did you have any body issues and horrible thoughts come back up? Because I am facing that now and I am having some severe anxiety as a result. I feel so vulnerable and open to judgement and like my controlled, private little world is being invaded and all I want to do is run. I just don't feel like I can be so physically close to someone without constantly being so much more aware of every aspect of my body and mind.

When you are in a relationship i mean there can be a bit of focus on the body, especially if its a sexual relationship. But the important thing to remember is that the person who wants to date you knows how you look, likes the way you look and you dont need to change for them. Not even if they tell you that you have to change, the important thing is to focus on your own happiness and health. Relationships can both be a positive and a negative thing, but you need to realise that unless you fight these thoughts they wont go away. Will you always shy away and be scared of starting a relationship? Not everyone wants a relationship and not everyone wants a sexual relationship either, and thats ok. But you shouldnt let your body or your fear or your eating disorder stop you from being happy with someone or being in a relationship. Because a relationship can actually help you like your own body, when you realise that someone likes you just the way you are. They dont mind the stomach rolls, stretch marks or cellulite, but they like you for the person you are. For your personality and for YOU, not just your body. HOWEVER, if someone likes you just for your body.... then get away from them. RElationships just based on appearance wont last, you need to still be compatible and like the other person for who they are, not just the way they look. Kind of off topic, but you need to fight those thoughts, deal with those thoughts. Not run away from them, instead fight them. Look in the mirror and be happy with yourself. Love your body and yourself, and allow others to love you as well. Your body is not something you need to be ashamed over or feel you need to hide. You are beautiful no matter your weight or size.

Below are some posts ive written about relationships:

Learn to love your body (this might be a helpful post for you, or anyone else in the same situation.)

I think a lot about food, but not all the time. I'm scared because i don't like it, i feel obsessed in some way, bit people tell me that it is because i still want to control food and i'm scared of letting go that control... :/

Constantly thinking about food is obsessive and can be due to control issues. You dont need to think about food all the time, it shouldnt take up all your thoughts. There is more to life than food, it is a part of life but NOT your whole life. Try to find other things you can do and things to distract yourself. Find a hobby or interest you can immerse yourself in. Talk to friends/family and try new things. Read a book, draw, write, watch series or films, do crosswords/suduko etc
  But also work on letting go of your control around food. Allow others to make and prepare your food. Eat at different times. Eat out spontaneously, face fear foods, eat with others. Let others cook you food, allow others to plate up your food, eat when others are eating and not just according to your own clock. Controlling your food religiously is not a good idea and adds alot of stress and anxiety to your life, when you could instead be focusing on other things and spending energy and time on other things in your life. Focus on other thoughts.... if you have a meal plan, follow that but also work on letting go of control. Otherwise, try to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full and then move on from your food, do other things. Dont get stuck just thinking about food.

Izzy, it is possible to be almost at my goal weight but still in starvation mode? I still thinking a lot about food, i get full after small amounts, but lately the weight gain is much slower. What should i do? I have to finish my plate even if i got full when i ate like 3/4 of it? Or i can stop when i get full? Sometimes for breakfast i get full whit only X. When you recommend to start eating intuitively? Lately i'm trusting my fullness cues and i find myself eating a little less, but i don't know if that's okay because i'm reaching my goal weight or if isn't okay because my metabolism still suppressed in some way

If you have been eating enough and regularly then your body most likely isnt in starvation mode. Gerneally the closer you get to your goal weight the slower the weight gain goes, this is a good sign, thats how it should be. And generally you dont feel as hungry or eat as much as when you are gaining weight, but you DONT have to restrict or eat less just because you are at your goal weight, your body should adapt to the calorie intake. And usually you are more active, do more when you are at your goal weight. This is another reason why you shouldnt be doing lots of exercise during recovery or weight gain, because whenyou reach your goal weight and you are more active then you dont need to lower your calorie intake because the more movement/activity in your life = +/-/0 with your weight and it is stable.

You said you are almost at your goal weight, so i wouldnt be trying to eat less, you still need to focus on weight gain so keep eating as usual. Your signals might not be fully working so if you have been following a meal plan, keep folowing that. Your body still needs food and if you eat less you will end up losing weight, which is the opposite of what you need/want to do. You should want to reach your goal weight and then try to maintain, focus on self love and living life. Keep trying to eat as much as you used to, dont allow yourself to eat less because that can trigger things. If you cant fully rely on your bodies cues and they lead you to eat less than you need, then follow a meal plan. This is what i tell people even when they are a normal weight, if their bodies cues arent fully working then a meal plan is best and after a few weeks/months following a form of meal plan and the signals are working better/more reliable then slowly begin to eat more intuitvely. Meaning you eat more/less depending on your bodies signals.

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