Life without Anorexia
My motto is 'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'
I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.
I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.
I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.
I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Sunday, August 30, 2015
3 flies swallowed and lungs that dont want to co operate. (Post race thoughts)
Sitting down and thinking over the past hour or so. Everytime i run a race it feels so weird, so surreal.... caught up in this little bubble of competition. Getting through the course and passing the finish line. Everything else fades out of my mind, the only thing is one foot infront of the other. Not like my normal runs when i get creative thoughts and ideas and i still remember life around me. But during races, then it's a differnt type of run. But i love it!!
I got to the area of the race and it was not so well organized, i had no idea where to pick up my race number, no idea where the start was so ended up having to ask several people for directions. But finally i got my race number, i found the start line and then sat in the sun (not a good idea) and mentally prepared myself. Even if 10km isnt that much for me, it always feels like more when its a race. The first 2km was all smiles and happiness, running motivation coming back but then it sort of went down hill and my lungs said no. My body wasnt getting the oxygen needed as my lungs werent co operating and getting the air they needed so it was a struggle which wasnt helped by the heat and numerous hills that the course entailed. Slowing down slightly, taking deep breathes, reminding myself to "just breathe", and hoping that the stomach cramps starting to creep in werent going to get worse. Sometime after 7/8km it got better and then it was just to keep running.... but the last 200m, i just wanted to stop and my mind kept telling me "walk. walk. walk", and then it was a mental battle. My legs, lungs and body tired. But i passed the finish line with a time around 51 minutes, plus minus a few seconds and then it was just to sit and breathe for a while.
The fun thing was that my family had come to watch me run, i didnt know that they were going to do that so then when i was running the last 500m and i saw them it gave me so much energy and happiness! And to get some hugs and even a rose from them! I love it, i love when someone is there for me at the finish line, i dont expect it anymore as i run too many races, haha. But it is always nice :)
Then they drove me to my boyfriends place where i showered, made myself pancakes as post run and now i am debating whether i have the energy to take myself to my friends house or not. We'll see :)
Btw, can i just take a moment to appreciate that pancake porn? hahaha. Seriously, sooo good!!!
I think my step dad took some photos while i ran, not sure how i looked... exhausted, but i might post them when i get them :)
And also... like the title says, during the run i swallowed 3 flies and got one caught in my eye. Extra protein or something like that? :)