Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Saturday, July 25, 2015

Wanting to sleep away the day

Combined with the rain and grey day as well as little amount of sleep today my energy levels havent been the best. I had decided to just spend this day doing nothing and just getting some things such as laundry and house cleaning done, but then at 12pm i sat around and had just eaten a morning snack which gave me alot of energy so i thought, i might as well go to the gym. Its good for me to get out of the house, and i did have energy until about 20 minutes into the gym session and then both my body and mind said no. No motivation, no energy.... and so what did i do? I changed and went to the store to buy lunch and refill with lots of energy. I dont plan in my restdays as i take them when i need them, and so today i guess will be a sort of rest day - considering that all i did in those 20 minutes was 10 minutes running and 2 exercises for my shoulders, and then tomorrow will be a rest day as well!!


Usually when i dont sleep enough or am very tired - or when my body is very tired it usually calls out for chocolate, and that was what i bought for myself today! A delicious salad and some salted nuts and chocolate :) And i want to tips you about.... chocolate covered salted corn (or something like that its called!). It was sooo good, the sweet and the salt :) Like popcorn and chocolate or dipping french fries into milkshake, i love those combos :)

I love this salad combo, though i'm now noticing that sundried tomatoes are giving me alot of stomach pain... its not the first time i have noticed it, but now my stomach begins crmaping and i feel nauseous :( Maybe just need to accept the fact that i can't eat them. :(

The rest of the day i just want to wrap myself in my blanket in my bed and not do anything at all. I am perfectly comfortable to just spend the rest of my evening in my bed, to rest physically and mentally. Not that i have done alot the past few days but i guess everything adds up when you have alot of things on your mind as well as being very active the past few week(s) as well, so its important that when the body says "stop" then you need to listen and allow yourself to rest!

How are you spending your Saturday?


  1. The image of fries and milkshake blew my mind. Oh dear.

    I'm stuck with editing my novel. I should be grateful for myself for finishing the first draft as fast as I did. Yet I cannot focus on anything but the remaining 140 pages waiting to get fixed. One week of editing is almost done, one more lurks ahead. I wonder how long will it take for the cabin fever to kick in. Perhaps it has already invaded me in pure secrecy.
    Masochism at its best and most productive! Only two and a half weeks till school again(... how is that any better?)!

    1. What is your novel about? Are you writing it in Finnish?

    2. Ooh, my first potential fan!
      Ok, seriously, yes it is in Finnish. For everyone that's asked, I've told the novel could be considered social horror. It's hard to say anything else without being telling too much for now; it isn't about eating disorders, though. I'm very excited and hoping to find a publisher asap (once I've finished) for maybe next year even!

    3. I don't speak Finnish but if it gets translated I would be happy to read it!! (or I'll just have to learn to speak and read Finnish)

    4. That sounds awesome!!! It must be so exciting (and stressful?) To write your own book :) When you get published (because I am sure you will!) I would love to read your book.... though I can't read finnish, but it might be translated! Good luck with all your writing, do you have a deadline for the book? :)

    5. You, such sweethearts. I'd be happy, too, if you read it (duh)! It hasn't been as much of a stress as rather of a question of consistency, one of my weakest links, though. At least the weather lost its summeriness this year, I had a chance to work without as many distractions I only pray there's a place in the market, let's wish Izzy's on spot! Basically there's no deadline but I definitely want to send it in before 2016.

  2. feeling the same way today! xo

  3. Would you ever write a post about dedication and motivation in strength training/sport. I usually get frustated when i am not improving and lose all my motivation to train.
    Your shoulders look very muscular in that picture, have you gained muscle? :)

    1. I might do, but because exercise is something fun for me I don't really lose motivation. If you feel you aren't making progress then change what you are doing, you don't have to change your goal - unless it's something like squat 100kg in 6 weeks time which might be a little unrealistic ;) but if you aren't making progress with what yiu are doing, then change it :) ive recently changed my workout program and it's lead to more progress and in a few weeks time I will change workout plan again to keep making progress as there is no point in just doing the same thing over and over. Also working out should be fun, so do what you enjoy and keep challenging yourself, then you should see/feel progress :)

  4. I am having a "not so cool" day today, too. :( After 3 amazing weeks at my favorite place, our cabin, we had to go back home. I've had the time of my life doing what i love the most; hiking, climbing mountains and strength training. Morning runs on country roads in the sun, surrounded by fields with sheep, horses, cows and forest. Countless hikes in the forest and on the mountain, plus climbing the most beautiful mountaintops I've been on yet. Strength training outside with a beautiful view, although we dont have the best selection of weights at the cabin, which actually works to my advantage as I had to vary my lifting routine a bit from the usual. it is impossible to be stressed at the cabin and at home i feel this constant inner stress and i dont know why, i hate having to leave the "cabin lifestyle" and come back to all the stress. I have made it a goal of mine to find the reason for the stress/anxiety i feel at home and find peace here too. Even though all I've been doing today is driving home and unpacking I have absolutely no energy. I always do a "back to basic" workout (squats, deadlifts, benchpress, chins) when Ive been away for a while, just to get used to the weights again, but today i had so little energy and felt so tired that i almost cancelled. But i decided to at least try and i am glad i did because it resulted in to new PB's :) 3 weeks of different (less and lighter) workouts had made me a lot stronger. Progress is always fun.

    I hate feeling this way and i try to be positive, but right now I'm just depressed. I do know I'll feel better soon though. I just need to find the peace at home. besides, i cant wait to get into my lifting routine again, get stronger, hike in this area too....and the cabin is only 1 1/2 hour drive away :)

    Hope tomorrow is a better day for you, Izzy :)