Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, July 22, 2015

To eat and not care

When i was sick, i didn't think it was ever possible to eat and not care about the calories... not care about what i had already eaten, or what i was going to eat later
   I didnt think it was ever possible to eat because you were hungry, to want to eat. To eat without anxiety or to be able to eat alone.

Imagining myself ever sitting down with a meal and eating on my own was impossible to even imagine let alone the anxiety it caused me. I couldn't fathom that people could actually listen to their bodies... that their bodies told them when they were hungry and when they were full. For me it was just my mind that controlled me, my bodies signals were completely ignored to the point that i no longer had any body signals about hunger or fullness because i had been so controlled by my thoughts controlling those things.

But you know what... it is possible. It is possible to eat when you are hungry, it is possible to eat without supervision, it is possible to eat as much as your body needs without feeling guilty. Without compensating, without gaining weight. It is possible.

I eat without caring what I've already eaten, or what I'm going to eat later. I dont care about the calories, i dont care if i eat loads for lunch, or eat more for breakfast then usual. I dont care if i end up taking more butter on my sandwich, i dont care if i pour loads of milk in my tea. I dont have foods i can or cant eat, i have foods i like and dont like.
  I can eat just because im hungry. And i can eat what i am craving.. i can eat sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and afternoon snack... just because that's what i am craving. Or maybe eat breakfast food for dinner or dinner food for breakfast.

Eating isnt something i think about. While i was sick, i thought it was weird that people could take a sandwich, just sit down and eat.. just like that. They didnt follow a meal plan, they didnt have certain times to eat..
  But thats normal . There are no 'certain' times you have to eat... you should be able to eat what you want... not what your ed wants you to eat .

It is possible to eat without anxiety, to eat without feeling the need to cheat, to scrape away butter, or spread to spread sauce all over the plate. It is possible to eat, just because you want to, because you know you need to. To not have any rules about food, how much and when ou can eat.

Its possible to have a healthy eating pattern, to have a normal relationship with food, you just have to want it to be normal .You have to want to be healthy and to make a change. Overcome your rules and your fears and begin making changes to find more balance and health.
  No one else can make that decision, no one can force you to become healthy and normal, they can support you.. but that wont make you healthy.
  You have to want it yourself...

Isn't it time to really give being healthy a chance? 
Eating is normal, its something everyone does... so why not you?


  1. You don't think about eating? Judging by your instagram, you do... You have posted a lot of pictures with texts on them say stuff about food or eating. I don't mean to sound rude - I was just curious what you put in the words "Idon't think about eating". Otherwise I loved this post!! Thank you :) <3 Have a lovely day, Izzy

    1. That is the same if you claimed that just the fact thag she wrote this post suggests her being aware of the food she eats. In reality she's spreading the word that way and takes pictures for her followers as that is what they want her to post.
      - Katriina

    2. Well my instagram isn't my life ;);) I post things there for a reason! My life doesn't revolve around food, I mean in between eating I do things and think of other things but then when hunger kicks in i make myself a meal and then if I want to I take a photo... but I don't take a photo of all my meals. I think about eating when I'm hungry and yes I love food,but it's not something that takes up all my thoughts and my whole life :)

  2. great post, you have a really good mentality about food xo