Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Spending time with other people who are sick (while in recovery)

I've been asked about my opinion on spending alot of time with other people who are sick when you are trying to recover or also still struggling. (Not to say that you dont struggle when you are recovering, because of course you do ;))

And my opinion varies depending on what the friendship is based on and how it affects YOU. When you are stuck in hospital surrounded with other people with the same illness, people who actually understand you it is easy to form a bond and a connection. But that bond is only based on the eating disorder and having that it common, and you do have some form of friendship. But whether consciously or unconsciously there is a competition between the two of you (or more).... you compete about who eats the least, who eats the healthiest, who exercises the most etc If you feel that you go out to eat with the person and they order a salad and you feel like you have to eat a salad as well because otherwise that person will be sicker than you, or you think they will judge you for taking pasta etc etc then that is not a healthy relationship. If you talk about food, calories, weight etc etc all the time or you compare yourself to the friend all the time then it might not be a healthy friendship.

However, if you are friends with someone and actual friends where you can motivate yourself to recover, to keep fighting for freedom and health, but that is not the only thing your friendship is based on. You live life, you enjoy being friends and doing things together and you help each other and know that you will still be friends even if one of you recovers and the other doesnt, or after both of you recover... then its ok to keep spending time with that friend or those friends.

But if you find that the friend causes you guilt or anxiety whether its purposely or not then maybe you need to distance yourself from that person. Or maybe it could just be your own thoughts which are ruining what could be actual friendship... for example if you are friends with someone and enjoy spending time with them but your eating disorder likes to remind you of the fact that your friend is smaller than you or that the friend eats healthier than you or eats more than you but is smaller than you and those things cause you guilt. That its your own thoughts you need to work on and not just hate that person.... but of course a friend shouldnt be causing you guilt or anxiety.

Dont form a friendship just based on a common illness because that doesnt mean the friendship will last... you can of course be acquaintances... sometimes meet and go for coffee or talk online or hang out sometimes, but becoming super close friends with someone just because you have the same illness doesnt mean that the friendship will last.

This is my opinion though, and doesnt mean that it is right or the only way to think.



4 comments:

  1. Great post! i had a friend like that who also had an eating disorder and everything was just a competition, and it wasn't a healthy friendship, so in the end we parted ways, its sad but its just not good when your trying to recover.

    http://www.libertylifeandselfhelp.com/

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    1. Its sad when that happens, but if it was a negative friendship then it is for the best!

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  2. Thank you for this entry!! I think the friendship has to be healthy by keeping the illness out of it, unless of course they're helping in recovery.

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    1. Exactly!! :) Its not impossible to be true friends with others who are also struggling, but both sides have to be honest whether its true friendship or just because you share the same illness.

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