Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, July 24, 2015

Slow or fast weight gain during recovery from an eating disorder

A common thing i often read in emails is that those recovering dont want to gain weight 'too fast'. They want to control their weight gain. So if they gain too much one week, then they eat less or compensate more to make sure that the weight gain isn't too quick. This type of thinking isnt healthy, you cant be super obsessive about your weight or try to control your weight gain, it doesn't work that way.

Of course gaining weight too quickly isn't good either because neither your body or mind can adapt to that, but also it will be harder to find balance if you gain alot of weight each week and the weight gain process only takes a short time. It can also be that your metabolism hasn't really recovered so then when you do reach your healthy weight you need to eat a little less, but you end up eating way too little. So its important to successively increase your calories as you gain weight so that your metabolism can adapt to more calories. It's not good for your weight gain to take forever and all you want to do is gain 100 or 200g per week, that is too controlling and the weight gain will take forever. Granted some weeks you might just gain that little, but if you are eating so that you only gain that amount it isnt good. It is recommended to gain around 0,5kg-1kg which is a good amount to gain week, that means that you eat roughly 500kcal+ what your body needs to maintain, and the truth is that little weight gain really doesnt show on your body. Even a few kilo doesnt make a difference to your body.
Naturally your bodyweight will go up and down a few kilo, for example i weigh around X kilo, but then when i am bloated or its that time of the month i can weigh around 3kg more and the only difference in my body or appearance is my bloat. But food, water, stress, hormones etc they all affect your weight and what it says on the scale. The scale isnt that important, what is important is finding your healthy weight where your body is healthy and you have energy and you can function properly and live life. But of course, when you need to gain weight, then that is important and you cant deny the fact that you might need to step on the scale and to gain weight.

Your body will take care of your weight if you eat what you should, and know that gaining roughly 500g-1kg is the recommended amount and that is what you should aim for, whether you need to gain 4kg or 20 kg. But trying to slow down the process and just gain a little or to just get the weight gain process over with and gain lots each week, that isnt healthy. Along with gaining weight you need to keep fighting the thoughts in your head, keep facing fear foods and breaking free from your eating disorder. You need to recover mentally and physically, but if you are trying to control your weight gain it means you arent really recovering mentally as you are still too controlling and obsessive about the number. But the best thing is to find out roughly what your goal weight is... though that might change depending on how your body reacts and the number it settles on. But have a roughy goal and then focus on that number, accept that you will weigh around that number +/- a few kilo. And then whether you gain 300g or 1,5kg in a week it will be ok because it is taking you closer to your goal. Also remember that you can eat exactly the same each week and not exercise but one week gain weight and the next week lose or maintain, and its just because maybe your body begins using more energy just to function or your metabolism increases etc etc So let your body take care of those things and try to increase calories as you gain weight, and not freak out if you gain more one week!

Another good thing to remember is that in the beginning of weight gain you can gain anything from 3-7kg in a week, and this is not actual weight gain. It is mostly water retention and bloating, a shock to your body. So dont panic about that, it would be almost impossible to gain that amount of actual weight gain in a week if you werent eating quite a few thousand calories each day.

So try to not control your weight gain - it shouldnt go too quick or too slow. And remember that a few kilo weight gain doesnt make so mcuh difference to your appearance, you might think it does especially when you are very bloated, but it really isnt that visible :)

Below are posts about calorie intake in recovery:


  1. I think you are right, izzy. I am gaining 500g per week now. Ot works and my mind can change, too. It's not too fast.
    Last year, as an inpatient, I gained 20 kilos in 10 weeks ( 48 to 68)
    That was too quick. I had got a healthy weight but a sick mind when they let me go home. My mind didn't change as fast as my body!
    So I lost 10 kilo again and now I am gaining weight alone. For myself. Because it's important for ME. that feels better and I always gain 500-1000 g per week.
    Too slow isn't good. But too fast isn't good either

    1. Yes exactly, too fast isnt good because your mental health can't catch up, but also i dont think its good for the body to gain too much. It doesnt have time to adapt either, and too slow isnt good either. Because one way or another you need to gain the weight and obsesively controlling and trying to stop the weight gain isnt helpful either. So the recommended amount is a good amount for people to aim towards!

  2. That’s a good article on how one should maintain their weight after recovery from an eating disorder. Most of the time, people who have recovered from an eating disorder tends to not care about their weight, thinking that they have already overcome the disorder. Sadly, when one takes little care, people relapse and go back into having ED. Your article can help those who are recovering from ED, and also those who are already recovered and need a kind of a reminder to keep them healthy after winning over the eating disorder.

    Margaretta Cloutier @

  3. My biggest problem is, that I don't to which number I have to gain. I used to have 54 kg to 167 cm(waist 59 cm), I don't know if it is good weight, I think, that I was too fat. I've just read an article of one girl in recovery, and she wrote, that she was chubby, and she was on the same weight. I don't know what to do with it. I don't know if I have to continue weight gain.... (CW 47 kg, waist 52-53 cm)