Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, July 18, 2015

Make the change, dont wait for the change to happen

Recovering from mental illnesses is not just about thinking positive and suddenly everything is better, though i do believe that this helps extremely. I believe that the way you think makes a huge change in your life and what happens in your life. Maybe not everyone agrees with this, but that is my personal opinion. However i dont think that just thinking positive is how you recover from a mental illnesses, there is alot more to it and one of those things is making a change. Even if you dont feel ready, you need to take that first step. Even if you feel awful, feel like there is no way out and you dont want to recover, if you just begin by taking a few steps towards recovery it can make a difference. Can make you want to recover.

For me i spent more than a year in different treatment before i eventually wanted to recover for myself, even thogh everyday i was forced to eat and rest and made to gain weight. But even when i had made the choice to recover i still relapsed and began spiralling downwards, but it wasnt until i began taking the steps towards recovery again and making the choice to recover.

For some the choice to recover comes before actually beginning recovery, but for others they need to go through the steps and processes and eventually choose recovery for themselves. But those 2 things are necessary and needed to fully recover... to take those steps and go through the changes and fight your fears and get rid of unhealthy habits. They are necessary to fully recover, but also WANTING to recover for yourself. Everyone i have talked to who has recovered, they have come to a point where they have actually chosen recovery, whether it was for themselves or their partner or maybe their passion in life. But they made a choice to recover and it kept them fighting even if there were good and bad days. It is important to choose recovery and have a goal to keep fighting, because without it, it is alot easier to just stay sick...  though recovery and recovered are far better than being sick, but it does require many tough days and moments.
    Just because i say that you need to choose recovery doesnt mean that you just sit around and wait for that moment to come, because it might not, unless you actually begin to recover. Not until you realise that you are feeling better, you are looking better, your thoughts are clearer, your hair, skin and nails look better. Suddenly those things motivate you to keep going and feeling and looking better are your motivation to keep going.

With this post i am trying to say that you might not feel ready to recover, you might not want to recover but if you have an eating disorder or any mental illness i do urge you to go seek help. To start some form of treatment or get support to help you. To take those steps towards recovery... think of all the people who have recovered, because there are many. They have all gone through the same process and steps, they have kept fighting even when they didnt want to. They have gotten up again when they have been knocked down. And YOU can do the same thing, but sometimes you just have to close your eyes and follow instructions.You have to have blind faith that things will work. There are alot of unknowns and uncertainties in recovery, you worry about bloating, continuing to gain weight, gaining alot of fat, rapid weight gain, not getting hunger and fullness feelings back etc etc and there are people who can help and answer those, but they cant tell you exactly how your body will function, but there are certain things which the body does during recovery which have been noticed. And you are most probably not a 'one time' case where something completely different happens.

I know this post isnt the most structured, i am just trying to formulate what is on my mind and that is to fight for recovery even when you dont feel like it. Even when you havent reached the stage where you want to recover for yourself. But also positive thinking DOES help, trust me it really does. But just thinking differently isnt how you suddenly recover, but it DOES make a big difference when you begin to think more positively and differently. Because in the end, recovering from a mental illness REQUIRES you to think differently and also DO differently. To change routines, habits, negative thinking etc

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