Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, July 31, 2015

Answers - bloating, scars, breast enhancements, weight

How long did your bloating last?

I can't really remember how long it lasted, but for a very long time. However as I kept restricting and eating little and then having to follow my meal plan again and the cycle repeated itself it made the bloating worse as I didn't keep up with the regular eating so my body took such a long time to adapt and to feel safe enough to not bloat /protect organs and such. But also each time I went from 0 to 100 wuth my food intake it was a shock to the body and made the bloating worse.  So my best tip... keep following your meal plan/regular meals throughout the day, everyday. That will make the extreme bloating go away quicker. But know that normal bloating after meals is common and nothing to worry about. And there are times you can be bloated for a few days in a row,but that will also pass.

 How long did it take for your scars to fade? Do you still have scars?
95% of my scars faded, only a few have left white scars. And like the bloating I can't really remember how long it took for them to fade.  Some disappeared in a matter of weeks, others took several months and some took a few years to completely fade, and then some were so deep that they haven't faded and I doubt that they will fade. However skin cells keep getting replaced and such so maybe they will fade.
    Self harm scars and whether they remain or not depends on what type of self harm it was and how deep etc I had some very nasty burn marks but they faded rather quickly and then there are other scars which weren't so deep but still left long term scars.

There are some creams which can help with the healing of scars and there are also creams and such which cover up scars which can be good to have. However self harming is not worth it, and you cant just cover up scars and think the problem is solved. If you self harm you need help to talk about your problems and find healthier ways to cope with your elation and feelings.

When did your boobs begin to grow/get bigger?

As I gained weight my boobs got bigger as well. You can't spot gain weight so for some they get very big boobs after recovery and others are still very flat chested. However as  boobs = fat, when you gain weight you should also gain boobs (for girls anyway :))

Have you ever thought about getting a boob job? what is your opinon on that?

I have actually thought about this. For a while I felt very flat chested and wanted bigger boobs. So I did consider breast enhancements but then I realised that 1) I don't want surgery, 2) it costs alot and actuallt I am very happy with how I look. I don't feel the need to get bugger boobs, but also it would be very hard to run or workout if I had bigger boobs. My opinion on boob jobs?  Not much... If a person wants to do that then it is their body and their choice. I don't really care what others do, whether they want loads of surgery or no surgery etc it's not my opinion. People love to comment on other people and think that they have an opinion on other people's bodies. Of course, if there are medical and health reasons for the opinion it's different ;)

If you could look the way you did in 2012 but be healthy would you? (i think you look great in those pictures and that is my goal, but you say you are underweight :( but it looks normal?) 

To start off, yes I was underweight in the pictures from the start of 2012, I was not a healthy weight and had a very unhealthy mindset. The unfortunate thing is that I have had people tell me that my half recovered body is "the perfect body" or "goal body" which is sad. But social media and media has skewed people's body image so much that an unhealthy body is what is deemed as good looking or the perfect body. 

Would I choose to look like that if I could have a healthy mindset, is what I am guessing you are asking? No I wouldn't.  I was very weak at that stage. I had no energy,I constantly felt fat, I disliked myself and my body image alot. I like how I look now, I have energy,  I am strong.  I  can run a half marathon, I can deadlift X. Kilo and squat x kilo. I can do push ups, I can walk, run, climb. I can lift heavy grocery bags, I can do alot and have energy to live life.  Having a thigh gap and stick thin arms didn't make me happy, it did not make me feel pretty or proud. I disliked my body and having an underweight and undernourished body is not a goal. If that is your goal then that is signs of an unhealthy mind and shows your distorted body image. Because if you have a healthy or somewhat healthy mind you can see pictures of someone who is underweight and see that that is not a goal and it is not health. However there are of course people who are naturally thin and/or underweight and that doesn't mean they are unhealthy or sick, but when the underweight is due to an illness then the body is not healthy and is not a goal either.


  1. Perhaps you could write us a bit of an introduction to A. Obviously you wouldn't tell anything personal about him but what kinds of qualities he has compared to you, what you liked about him in the first place.
    - Katriina