Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, July 5, 2015

13 years old and hating my body

Reading over some diary entries, and something which makes me  so sad is how i was 12/13 years old and hating my  body. When i was first admitted to a kids psychiatric ward at 13 years old, in my journal (which i got) it was written down that i told my case manager that i would rather die than be fat.
   That just doesnt go together.... a 12 year old. Self harming and depressed. Starving herself. Wanting to die.
   That is not how you should be thinking, whether you're 12 years old, 17 years old or 30 years old.... nobody should think like that.

This is something which i wrote when i was 13 years old and admitted to inpatients:

I hate my body, i hate my body, i hate my body, i hate it.

  I've gained soo much weight i know it. And you can like see it on my stomach. I jsut want to cut it out, i hate it.
 I want surgery to get rid of it. :(

Ugghhh why is life so shit. Why do we even care about weight? We're just gonna die anyway. So why dont they just stop going at me, and let me eat nothing if i want, and purge, like why the fuck does it matter to them?
 I'lll die from obesity if they carry on like this.
  Or maybe from cutting, cus thats all i feel like doing, starving and cutting. :(

Something which makes me sad is think about how there are so many young girls and guys who are only kids but developing ED's.
I am sure many of you have seen the documentary on Youtube about the 8 year old anorexic?
It makes me so sad.

And those of you who have been sick for 10 years or more.
It is such a terrible thing.
You lose so much of your life to your ED, and its not worth it.
So please think about your life. 
How you want to live it. What do yo uwant to do with your life.
Is your ED holding you back from doing things you want to do?
Choose recovery. Dont waste anymore of your life being sick.

Dont doubt recovery. Recovery is tough, it is hard. But it is worth it. SO when you feel like giving up, thinking about what you are actually giving up. You are giving up on life.
Imagine a life with out being sick. Being happy.

It is possible.


  1. :'( that is so sad, but it sends out a very powerful message, thanks for this great post Izzy <3 xxx

    1. Thank you so much. I think it is important to talk about as there are so many young people developing eating disorders and it should not be that way. People shouldnt develop eating disorders at all.

  2. Too many girls are beginning to develop unhealthy and hurtful relationships with their bodies at a younger age. This breaks my heart as well because it usually leads to disordered eating and a lack of lust for life. These girls should NOT be worried about their stomaches and diets, they should be enjoying their lives and spending time with those they love. I suffered with a lot of self-hatred and body shaming when I was younger, and earlier prevention would have saved me a great deal of suffering. Beautiful post Izzy <3.

    1. Exactly, worrying about your body, your stomach, your diet etc should not be on an 8 year olds or even an 18 or 25 etc year old girl (Or guy.) I hope you are doing better now :)