Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Self harm - the coping mechanism that doesn't help

Self harm, an addictive behaviour which is often used as a way to cope with strong emotions, anxiety or guilt. It is a behaviour which is misunderstood by many and most people presume that it is done to get attention.  Though I can say from experience, when I self harmed the last thing I wanted was attention. I managed to cover my scars for a year or so without them being noticed and I continued to hide my scars when I claimed I had stopped. It was not something I did for attention and it's usually not the first reason people do it. Though of course there are some people who self harm just for attention.

However what I can say from experience is that it is a coping mechanism that easily becomes addictive. You start once, you can't put words to your thoughts, feelings or emotions.  Or there are strong, overwhelming emotions that take over you and suddenly you are trying to cause yourself physical pain to get rid of the mental pain. The physical pain doesn't hurt in the way it would if you weren't in so much mental pain. You feel numb and over time the self harm gets worse because you don't feel anything anymore. You need to self harm more, worse to try to get rid of the mental pain. 
Self harm is not a coping mechanism that works. In the beginning it might help you with your feelings or emotions as you stop feeling them.  But self harm just causes more problems... you have scars you feel guilty over, you try to hide them, you feel ashamed or guilty. It adds even more secrecy, distraught, anxiety and guilt.

When I was my sickest there were times that I almost felt a little proud over my scars and didn't care if people saw them. I wanted people to see how I felt... I wanted them to see that I was messed up and falling apart. But mostly I just felt guilty and stupid and didn't want anyone to see my scars. However self harm is not just cutting, it includes other things such as burning, picking at scabs, hitting yourself etc etc

There are much better alternatives to cope with how you are feeling than to try to hurt yourself. Think... do you really want to walk around hiding scars for the next few days/weeks? To have to cover yourself up if it's warm outside or to get addicted to self harming where you do it every day.
Instead you should call someone, write out your thoughts or feelings.


  1. My favourite distraction technique to stop me from self-harming is painting my nails. I'm such a perfectionist that if I paint my nails, they have to be flawless which means I can't move my hands at all if my nails are wet otherwise they will smudge, so if I can't move my hands, I can't self-harm! Yay! And pretty nails! Xx

    1. That is great advice! I've never been so good at painting my nails, but it's a feat way to keep yourself from doing anything with your hands and fingers! !