Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Tuesday, June 23, 2015

I workout for health not vanity

One of the things which I have noticed alot online is the debate over opinions regarding exercising after recovery from an eating disorder.

Some people (meaning random people and some who have recovered from an eating disorder) have very strong opinions and believe that if someone eats what they regard as too healthy or workout then they are still sick. And this may be true in some cases but not always.

It is more and more noticeable how people recovering from eating disorders turn to exercise and a certain way of eating. This may be to keep controlling their weight and body. To control their food and they still live with their demons, but then for others exercise is a form of enjoyment.  It's not a compulsion or a way to control their weight or how they look. (Though you can't deny the fact that exercise does change the body in someways).

Really it's only the person themselves that knows which reason they exercise, though if it's due t compulsion or obsession or something controlling then signs will often be shown to friends or family members.

Exercising is not bad, and i think it's stupid that some people think just because you have had an eating disorder means that you shouldn't exercise or eat healthy foods. Exercise is healthy for the body. And the important thing to remember is that exercise is not just running or the gym, but it's going for walks,  hiking, dancing in a school club, playing tennis, swimming, going for a bicycle ride with your family etc etc
  Exercise is part of a healthy lifestyle and to keep the body healthy.  And that is MY reason for working out. I love most forms of exercise that's why I vary my workouts so often and don't just do the same thing all the time. I have found what I enjoy which is why I do it so often because it's enjoyment. And I don't see it as something hard or a chore, even if some workouts are tough. ... I mean it's called a 'work out'. But it's still an enjoyment and I do it to keep healthy.
   It keeps both my body and mind healthy but also because of my CF. I need to do some form of cardio each day because honestly if I go a week without any type of exercise that gets my lungs working hard, I notice the difference.  It's harder to breathe and can lead to an uncomfortable tightness in my chest. And i know that if I didn't strength train I would still be super weak.... I could barely open doors or carry grocery bags. I was weak and couldn't do much. That is also why I love strength training, for my health and to feel strong.

I don't know the reason why others exercise but it can be good to ask yourself why? If it's just for vanity or to try to control your body you will get tired. I feed myself properly to give myself the energy and nutrients to live and work out.  So that I have strength and energy,  I eat varied and eat foods I enjoy and know give me nourishment and nutrients.

Despite what people think exercise is more than just controlling your weight or looking a certain way. But it's therapy and for health.

Just because you have had an eating disorder doesn't mean you can never exercise again.  But you also need to be honest with yourself about why you exercise. ... from my own experience there is a HUGE difference in forcing yourself out to run 10km in the rain because you were forced to eat potatoes for dinner and you hate every second of it, tears rolling down your cheeks because you don't want to anymore. Compared to having energy, being happy and motivated and going for a 10km run where you smile, sing with the music and feel how strong and fast you are. And then you come home and make sure to eat lots.

So if you find that yiu are exercising for reasons that might not be so healthy ask yourself do you want to live like this for the rest of your life? Do you want to have the same thoughts and anxieties and fears... you want to fight those so that one day you can actually enjoy exercise and choose to do it because you want to,not because you feel you have to.

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