Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Chaotic morning and long term consequences from anorexia

A morning without food or water = chaotic morning and irritable girl.

Nothing went right this morning.... dropped plates, burnt food (to bring lunch with me). The door wouldn't open when I had to leave for the train so stood there for 5 minutes trying to open the door and then had to run for the train. And ended up coming late as the 'department/area' I was going to had moved place in the hospital so had to wander around for 10 minutes. Then I began with lots of blood tests before waiting 90 minutes until my next appointment.  I spent that time doing some colouring while watching YouTube videos on my phone. The positive thing is that now there is free wifi at the hospital, so hopefully a few emails will be answered if I feel up to it. Though my day is filled with tests and appointments so not sure how much time I have.

Anyway, then in a state of tiredness, hunger and irritation i made my way to the other side of the hospital to have an ultrasound done though I was in the wrong waiting room so ended up coming a little late to my time,  though luckily that wasn't a problem. However realising that I have to pay for all my appointments and tests - when they aren't obligatory,  but mandatory - kind of sucks. Ruins my summer a little economically anyway,  but I guess that's part of being an adult. Need to spend less on food anyway, hahah.

Now im just after eating lunch (finally!) And going to continue with my day, hoping that things start to get better now. But really I just want this day to be over! !!

Continued post:
After lunch i talked to the doctor and got some 'bad' results.  Or all my blood tests and such looked good however there was something which was a little worrying and could mean surgery in the future and something I need to think about. And there is a 90% chance that it is a consequence of my anorexia and it is a long term problem,  something I will need to think about. And it sucks.... I get daily heart burn and it can stop me from sleeping due to all my years purging.  I get knee, hip and low back pain from my years spent over exercising which are just some of the long term consequences I have because of my eating disorder. At the time you are struggling you don't think about it.... but you can cause long term problems which you might regret in the future. I'm young but will have these problems and things i need to think about for the rest of my life and I still have my CF to deal with everyday.  Hearing these types of things sucks, especially when you have no one to blame but yourself. 

Though I am not going to dwell on it, all I can do is the best and make some changes to my diet and now i also have another reason for not drinking alcohol.

Life could be worse I guess, it's just to make the best of the situation and life. No point becoming all negative, though thinking about future hospital visits, operations etc gives me the chills as that is the exact thing I want to avoid, but sometimes you can't do anything to stop it. There aren't always precautions you can take or do.

Anyway, too much negativity. Soon it's home time, only 2 hours left :)


  1. Sorry to hear that :/ But at least you recovered before it got even worse. The lifestyle you have now is very good for your body - enough food and vitamins etc, good heart (bc cardio) and strong bones and muscles due to strength training! You are treating your body the best one possibly could :)

  2. Stay strong girl! I believe you will make the best out of your situation. I cannot say thank you enough for your power you spread through your blog! I don't know how it is to handle with long term physical consequences because of anorexia, because I survived it without these noticeable issues. But I am sure you will manage this! Stay positive!

    (Hope you can understand what I want to say, because I am a german girl trying to write in english xD)

  3. Hey girl, you know you will do it. Look at all you've already accomplished in those last years. Those conditions are not really "new", you said it yourself, yet you've been getting stronger and stronger since you got them. They don't stand a chance against your strength, physically or mentally. You have people around you to give you a hand if you stumble across the way, you know the worst is already far behind. Only a few more hours and you can go back home. Take a long hot shower, let the thoughts get carried away by the water. Remember your new routine, get excited again, your boyfriend is waiting for you, the fridge is full (hopefully! ^^), summer is coming, you're about to start a new chapter in your life anyways :) xoxo - Carine.

  4. It is all going to be okay Izzy I promise! Just think of all the things you prevented from stopping your disordered habits when you did! Yes the anorexia still has its consequences, but I am sure you have learned so much from all it caused you to go through. Stay strong beautiful <3.

  5. Stay strong, live in the moment and take care of yourself!!! The most important thing is to have life in your days not days in your life <3 This is my new motto! :)

  6. I'm so sorry to hear you got that news. But you are so positive and that is amazing and what you should focus on. The past is the past, the future is what you can do something about to change. Thinking of you lots xx

  7. I am sorry to hear this but i can totally relate. I too have to live with a lot of the consequences of having had anorexia. Constant test at doctors etc now because I struggle A LOT with my stomach and heartburn. experiencing and struggling with all this now that I am recovered makes me realize how much my body has suffered through anorexia. I just really hope that one day it will all get better. slowly but surely.

  8. Sending positive thoughts your way lovie!

  9. You've got plenty of people by your side - not to mention all of us fantastic readers - and a nice place in life in general, so you're going to be alright. Time shows what is going to happen, but what you should concentrate from now on - as you have done so far, though - is everything that you love. Life won't pass by without leaving scars, anyway.