Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Monday, June 1, 2015

Black and white thinking

When you have an eating disorder a typical way of thinking is black and white = all or nothing. Not everyone suffering is like this, but many are.

Either its no chocolate or its the whole bar. Its not ever 15 minutes cardio, its always 60 minutes. Its not one or 3 slices of pizza, its the whole thing because you have already messed up.

This way of thinking is very destructive and many dieters end up with this way of thinking as they see food as all or nothing. If they 'mess up' in the smallest way then everything is ruined and they might as well eat everything in sight or continue eating. Its also this way of thinking that leads to binge eating as there is no balance or intuitivness about it.

The way to break free from this way of thinking is to see food not as the enemy but as a friend. To see food as energy and to know food helps you and that your body can handle more calories some days. You also need to remind yourself that there is no good or bad food - its how much you eat of each food. I mean if you just eat 1 cookie or 3 cookies its not like a whole day of normal and healthy for YOU eating has been ruined. If you eat like normal all day and then you eat dessert after dinner that doesnt ruin anything or make you gain weight/gain fat/unhealthy. Its when you then continue to eat.... when you start feeling guilty over what you did and think.... its all ruined, might as well keep going or you just eat everything because you dont want to make the same 'mistake' again, so you get rid of it all.

But think about it like this.... wouldnt it have been better if you ate like normal but you just ate a row or two of chocolate or some ice cream or some fries. That wouldnt have made any difference to your body. But then when you eat the whole chocolate or the whole tub of ice cream because you feel like everything is ruined - its then that things get a little crazy. Its better to just eat what you are craving and save the rest for later. Know that you didnt mess up or ruin everything and that you can have more at another time if that is what you are craving - you don't need to eat it all at once.

You need to find some type of balance where you can eat all types of food in different moderations. To be able to eat a little or a lot of something and not feel guilty. Not feel like compensating or feel like you need to eat it all because your diet/food intake is ruined.
  When this black and white thinking kicks in, its like a switch is turned in the brain and it can be hard to think rationally so it is a process of changing those thoughts. Knowing and DOING better.

Call a friend. Leave the kitchen. Drink a glass of water. Know whether its physical or mental hunger. Remind yourself that you CAN eat that food again, you dont have to eat it all at once. It takes away the enjoyment from the food when you just eat it to get rid of it or because of guilty feelings...... it will just leave you with more guilt and telling yourself that you wont do it again but you end up doing it again anyway.
  Its in the middle of the situation that you have to be strong and walk away... make a change. And eventually that situation wont even begin because you are strong enough to find balance.

Change the black and white/all or nothing thinking to a more balanced view where food is energy and food is your friend. To eat a balance of food not completely cut it out/restrict or eat everything and go crazy because that is no long term solution. That is not facing the actual problem which is what you need to do to make it better. To find mental peace and balance.

Below is a very good post about intuitive eating! I recommend you read it.



  1. Wow such good timing, I really needed to read this! Thank you <3

  2. Hey! I recomended that article in one of your previous posts! :)

  3. Excellent post Izzy! This is exactly what I need to work on - it's not all or nothing, moderation is key! Your blog is helping me with this so much, and I'm getting better at it! Thank you! P.S. You look so pretty in all your pre-graduation pictures! x

  4. I eat healthy like six days a week and have one "cheat" day, when i eat usually candies/ice cream. Normally i buy 500ml ben and jerrys & some yummy bread roll or about 350g pix n mix and bread roll and i eat it at once. But i dont binge it, i just like to eat like once a week and when i eat i eat maybe a lot, so it is okay? When ive eaten that i dont eat overly full or anything :)

  5. **may be triggering**

    Really helpful! Though I have a question regarding this topic. When I eat a part of my meal, my parents get angry and tell me that I don't eat etc so I feel that they don't notice what I do eat. When I skip a meal altogether they react the same way so I think "if the amount I eat or don't eat doesn't make a difference I can as well not eat and be satisfied". I tried explaining to them that it's all or nothing thinking but in a different contest, but not even my nurse (I'm an outpatient) agreed with me. Do you have any advice? :)

  6. Thank you so much for addressing this issue. x.