Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Friday, May 15, 2015

Yesterday evening & talking about relationships!

Hello! Hello!!! :)

A typical thing for many people is that when they eat alone they don't always cook a proper meal for lunch or dinner... 1) its time consuming and 2) if you're going to eat on your own, is it really necessary to start cooking something fancy or stand by the oven for an hour!!
   I am the type of person who, if i eat on my own, i just make something simple like put some quorn in the microwave (or fry), some vegetables and if there is no left over sweetpotatoe/beans/quinoa/couscous  i just take some bread or crisp bread. Yup.... lazy when it comes to cooking for myself. There was a time when i used to make things like chicken pies, home made pizzas, fish burgers, wok, chicken meatballs etc etc but now i only do 'proper' cooking when I am making food for myself and others!
   So when i invited my  boyfriend over for dinner i decided to make something simple but delicious - baked salmon, potatoe and sweet potatoe wedges, salad and this delicious sauce (feta cheese and sundried tomatoes!) Cooking doesnt have to be hard or too time consuming! The good thing is that i now have left overs for lunch today (or well, i am going to eat sweet potatoe for breakfast!)

Just realised what a long paragraph i wrote about cooking and food!!! hahah, that was not my intention, i blame the early morning!!

After dinner we first spent a long while trying to choose a film (Why does it always feel like you spend more time choosing a film than actually watching the film?) and then finally choose one!

Something which i was thinking about yesterday was how much my life has changed since ive met my boyfriend. We started talking about it, how both of us agree that these past few months have been some of the best! How a once stranger, someone you didnt even know existed can make such an impact in your life, change your life in some ways! But also how ive adapted to all the changes.... before i met A i wanted to have a boyfriend, but at the same time being in a relationship scared me. I am someone who has a shield around myself... i have been hurt many times but also i dont easily let people in. I dont share my problems or talk about what is going on in my head, i still dont do that... but slowly the wall is coming down. Also i had a very big fear of sleeping anywhere but at home - this is from the months spent in hospital - but now i dont mind, its like that fear just sort of disappeared without me realising it. But its about facing the fear which makes it go away, and i had never faced the fear since my stay at Mando because i was too scared. As well as things like wanting to control life, always have plans and know what is going on... now i am more spontaneous (in some ways anyway). And they are all positive changes. I believe that you have to be ready to have a relationship, because when i think about it i dont think i was ready before. I dont think i would have been able to adapt or change - or maybe i would have, i dont really know. But also, i didnt find the right person. I am glad that i didnt just date anyone and be unhappy. My tip to you..... You WILL find someone someday. Give it time. But also be open... its about meeting new people, even if you do it online like me (though this has its risks!!)
  For the past few years people always asked me if i was in a relationship, why i didnt have a boyfriend, and they told me... 'you'll meet someone someday'. Hard to believe back then, i thought i was destined to be alone. That i was too weird, too unloveable, that nobody could like me because i was strange but thats not true... i am weird, i say weird things and laugh at strange times... but that is part of who I am and as far as i know A doesnt mind that! We all have are quirks, but there is someone out there who will find those things charming. Someone who will lay down on the ground with you when you are laughing, just so that you wont look strange or someone who will hug you when are feeling down or buy you chocolate when you're sad!!! :)

Not everyone wants a relationship and that is ok! You DONT need to be in a relationship, but if you are someone who feels lonely or jealous of everyone else in relationships - DONT. Someone will come along, even if its not the right person at first... there are more people out there! And life isnt just about meeting someone even if that is what society and everyone us tells us. Instead, create a life you love and live it. Live life, because that is what life is about and if you meet someone who wants to be by your side while you are living life, well then that is just a bonus!!!

*Insert picture of me & my bofriend*...... I want to, but i won't because it's not right of me to do that. Maybe someday!

Instead you get a picture of me right now!!

No comments:

Post a Comment