Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Saturday, May 16, 2015

When 24 hours doesn't feel like enough time

Hello :)

You might have realised - or maybe not - that there hasnt been alot of blogging recently. Or that is how i feel anyway, alot of it has got to do with time as well as not feeling so inspired to write at the moment.
  Right now i am struggling to make the 24 hours i have each day work and get everything done. Each day i have a list of things i need to do, but there is still something which gets postponed, gets moved until the next day, meaning that there is then 1-2 things from the next days 'to do list' which gets moved to the following day. 24 hours just doesn't feel like alot at the moment, and blogging just hasn't been on my mind. Even if i love it, i love blogging and wont stop, it's finding the time which is hard. But i am not complaining... i know it sounds like it. But i am just writing out my thoughts and also why it can take like 3 days for me to reply to your comments!! But i do read them, and i do try to answer all your questions in posts or in the comments section :)

I have also gotten quite a few emails - and comments - recently asking me how i am feeling. Which is super sweet of you :) And the honest truth, i dont even know how i am feeling. This was what i told my boyfriend yesterday when he was over.... i don't know how i feel. I have energy, but at the same time tired. I eat lots so its not that and i know i rest lots as well so its not that i am physically tired, and i dont feel mentally burnt out either... i think it's just a whole bunch of things really. I am so focused on other things that i dont even know how i feel myself, i cant answer the question regarding how i feel or how i am doing. Right now its just blank.
  Despite my boyfriend not knowing about my past - though really i should tell him, as it might explain why i feel so low at times and can get stuck in my own head and thoughts - he called me today just to make sure that i was alright and feeling better because yesterday i seemed so low. It was very sweet of him, but also surprised me. I had tried to not make it obvious that i was feeling a little low, but i guess he noticed it anyway. Makes me feel a little bad, because he is so caring and sweet but i feel like i still have a guard around me. I still havent told him about my past, and even if i feel like its not necessary, i guess some ways it kind of is as stress can make me isolate myself, can make the depressed thoughts start to come back and the past also explains alot about the present me. But first i need to find the courage - something i havent found yet. I got alot of advice from some of you lovely readers on how to approach this topic and so i am going to take all your advice on board and hopefully do something about it!! :)

Now i am going to give myself a mental rest for the day after sitting from 1pm until 6.30pm at the kitchen table trying to get work done! The time just flies by and feels like i barely get anything done.
Or it feels more like i've hit a place of calm, knowing that soon it will all be over and i feel confident in some weird way? But at the same time so nervous!!



I found this on Tumblr which i love:

I’m tired of people romanticizing overexertion. Exhausted is not the new chic, coffee (though a delicious necessity) is not a food group, and running on fumes is not admirable. Why do we hold pedestals for sleepless nights, breakdowns, and inner turmoil? Are those really things to aspire to? Self-care. Balance. The ability to know when your body, mind, and spirit need to take a step back. Those are things we should admire. We have to stop blurring the line between ‘commitment’ and self-endangerment because too many people are burning out before they have a chance to truly shine.
—  (via runningmandz)

7 comments:

  1. Remember that everyone have their secrets - it's not just you. Imagine if the situation was flipped the other way around, what would you want him to say to you? I once decided to tell my friends about my eating disorder, (but it turned out the already knew because my mom had told them months before '-_-). One of my friends told me that day that she was bulimic when she was twelve, and was kind of turning into the same downwards spiral because she was triggered by my ed. That was enough for me to seriously start recovery. She didn't say it to make me feel bad or anything, it was for her own sake, and her own health (well, mine too i guess, but.) My point is not to make you feel bad about your troubles, Izzy :) I just wanted to share a little story and give a little reminder that others might too struggle in silence and keep secrets :) Wish you the best day today :)

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    1. Naaw thank you!!! :) <3 <3 I hope you have a good day today!!

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  2. Hi Izzy, I have a suggestion for a post. It may sound completely ridiculous but I know I need to gain more weight, I'm okay with that except there's one thing really bothering me. The chubby cheeks that come along with it. I just hate the way my face looks at a normal weight and also my stomach seems to get all the weight gained. How can I get over this? Sorry, I know it sounds weird that I would worry about my face in weight gain.

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    1. I got the biggest double chin in recovery!! Hahaha, sorry for laughing but it looked rediculous. But now,its all gone. I think it just dissappeared after like 6 months or so. That's like 0,006% of your life, so it's worth the wait :)

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    2. Hahahaha!! Just had a good laugh. :)) The things we worry about sometimes. Lol

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  3. I was wondering, did you ever get a lot of lanugo (fine hair) on your face and body? I'm already about 6 months into recovery but I still have a lot of fine hair on my face and was wondering whether you ever had any problems with this and how long it took to get rid of?
    Thank you - love the blog!

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