Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Unnatural calmness & emails & different hair colours

You know that feeling when you are weirdly calm in a situation where you shouldnt be or usually aren't calm? Or it's just this feeling where you don't really know how you feel... thats me at the moment!

Tomorrow is my maths national test - 3 parts and in total 4 hours. Last week i was stressing about this, the thought of doing the test made me sick and i just felt stupid like i didnt know anything. Like all my maths knowledge had disappeared. Though now the evening before the test i am feeling calm and collected. Feeling confident? Not at all. But i feel like worrying wont help me...  I need to do the test and so do all the other swedish students taking this course. I am not alone in my worries and im reminding myself that there are worse things in life than a test and if it goes completely wrong? Well there are still things i can do to fix it.
   At this point i dont really know if i am stressed or not... or maybe the stress has gone so far so that i just feel this numb calmness?

Anyway tomorrow i am hoping to do a morning workout before my test as that will give me the energy and focus i need and then get to school 30-45 minutes before the test to leave a good marginal incase something goes wrong with collective traffic (which it has done everyday this week -_-)!!

Anyway, how was my Wednesday? It was good!! My first lesson i got to watch a film... though we actually have to analyze the film and take notes and write discussions/analyses which will be graded, so it's not just sit and watch a film! Then a break before my final lesson for the day which finished at 11.30am. At that point the rest of my friends were finished with school for the day but they sat and studied maths with me as i had to wait until 3pm to have my french national test followed by a french lesson. However 15 minutes before i was about to have my french national i got an email telling me that the lesson was cancelled and the french national test was moved to another day.....
   The irritation i felt right then as i had sat in school for roughly 3 hours when i could have gone home and studied maths there.. but also studied maths instead of trying to remember french words and sentences... Ohh well. I am a little more prepared for when i actually have my french national test then! And i did get some maths studying done. But i must admit, it would have been nice to have been home for 12pm and not at 3.30pm... :/

Since i've come home i havent done much... soon its time to take out the maths books, do some last minute studying and maybe an evening walk if my stomach stops aching!! XD

I also want to add a little end note about emails... I have gotten a crazy amount of emails the last few days and unfortunately i am not answering emails at the moment. I do not have the time or energy for it, but hopefully you will read this message and then 1) Search on my blog for the topic/question you have or 2) leave a comment here and you are more likely to get an answer or i will write a post about your topic :):) 

To end this post... i was looking through photos *nostalgia* and if you didnt know, i have dyed my hair different colours since the age of 12!! :) Below are some of the colours :)

& purple, blue, a lighter brown colour :)

Which do you think was/is the best? :)


  1. i think you look rather lovely with the reddish brown ^^

  2. I love this strawberry blonde hair on you, you look so lovely:) Buti do think that light blonde hair suits you the best. Are you planning on dying your hair on different shade again?

  3. Good luck with your maths test!!!!!!!! X

  4. Love both the red brown and blonde you have now ♥

  5. What is your natural colour? :)

  6. Are you a vegetarian? :)

  7. Good luck with your exams I am sure you will do well! I love the blonde hair on you, but the red is also really nice x