Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Monday, May 25, 2015

Treat yourself like you treat others

Story time:

On Sunday as we were leaving my boyfriends parents house i saw this huge (seriously huge!) spider stuck in the sink. As his parents were going to be away for a week and the spider couldnt climb out the sides of the sink i knew that if we left the spider would die. And let me tell you, i absaloutly hate spiders. If i see them i will run and most likely scream... i do my best to avoid spiders, but for some reason i just couldnt leave the spider there. I knew it would die and it felt wrong... i mean the spider should still get to live? So with calming breaths and feeling slightly panicked i managed to get it onto a cardboard piece and run out into the garden and set it free. And it felt good... I felt like a good person,as well as believing in karma... so that good things will happen after this good deed!

However after this i have been thinking alot about it.... why couldnt i just leave? I mean its just a spider.. and a huge scary one at that? But i couldnt let it die, it felt wrong. (Even with wasps and other small bugs, i cant seem to kill them even if i despise them and would prefer they didnt exist, i prefer to set them free... throw them out the window (XD) than kill them.) BUT..... why is it so easy to think about myself dying? Death has never scared me... i dont get anxiety thinking about death. Infact at times i can think about death, what its like to die? What would happen.....? Not in the sense that i long for death - not at all, i enjoy life. But i dont fear death and well - however awful it sounds - i often think if i get hit by a car or die, it wouldnt matter so much. Not for me anyway. Though i know that suicide is a very selfish thing and i would never purposely kill myself  - i have attempted that before and it didnt go as planned, but also i have learnt from my experiences and other experiences. DEATH IS NOT WORTH IT AND IT SHOULD NOT BE AN OPTION. You are alive for a reason and LIFE IS WORTH LIVING.

But at the same time, i can be very reckless with my life at times, very nonchalant about it? But life is very precious. Why can i not kill bugs, but myself dying doesnt seem like a problem? But leaving a spider to die in a sink would have given me tremendous guilt?

I guess that can lead to the question of why its so much easier to treat family and friends in the right way... in the way they deserve, but so much harder to treat yourself properly? (Now i know how to treat myself properly, but many struggle with this.) People struggle with being kind to themselves... taking onboard the advice they give. (I personally have a rule for myself that i dont give advice which i can't stand for or wouldnt personally do... as i dont want to give advice which i dont believe in.).

From this long babble of train of thoughts what i wanted to say is that... we should treat ourselves like we treat others. We should be kind to ourselves. We wouldnt let our friend jump off a bridge or run infront of a car.... we wouldnt let someone hit our dog or starve our pet. So why do we do those things to ourselves? We deserve kindness as well, OUR LIFE MATTERS AS WELL. 

Your life matters just as much as your friend, family and strangers lives matters.  Treat yourself properly, be kind to yourself. And also think about... how would you feel if someone you love were to die.... that would feel pretty awful right? And thats how people would feel if you were to die. 

Remember life is worth living!!! The first step is to be kind to yourself and know that you deserve a good life and to be happy!!!

*Just some evening thoughts i wanted to get out of my head*

And on a sidenote.... Dont Google big spiders (was going to use a picture!) ... because the results are scary. And i am most likely to get nightmares now!!! XD


  1. Fabulous post! Very wise :-) I had a bees nest outside my window and a few of them always came flying in and once I found one crawling around on the floor and realized it would die if I didn't help it, but I got so mad at the bees always flying in so I wanted to kill it but then got so emotional and felt so sorry for it... So I saved the little guy instead. Haha.

    Izzy!! <3 I need some advice. I have challenged myself... Okay, not really challenged, more like succumbed under stress cravings. I decided to give in and have way more carbs than I used to because I really need to gain weight and energy. But after having it mentally I was fine but physically I felt so so full and sick, like I was just going to regurgitate all the food I had and had no desire to eat any time soon again. So I did some light exercise to increase digestion and drank lots of water and it got a bit better. I know my stomach needs to expand again, but do you have any practical advice to readjust to the carbs without wanting to die?

    1. Hi Veronike,

      I know I'm not Izzy
      But I do have some experience in this myself, so I thought I'd try to offer some advice.
      I know how hard it is in recovery being able to digest food as you have been so used to starving your body.
      But I would advise eating a healthy amount of food and overtime your stomach will expand and get used to the amount of food its been given.
      But as far as the bloating goes I know its extremely uncomfortable, so I would say drink peppermint tea after meals this will help with digestion and or take a probiotic supplement.
      overtime it will get better.

      I hope this helps
      Take care xx

  2. Beautiful post, I too can relate to the attempting suicide, and the need to let everything live, even spiders I'm so glad there's other good people out there that care about the lives of everything! xo