Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Thursday, May 21, 2015

Did i survive the maths test?

After hours of silence on my blog it's easy to think that i might not have survived today... but i did!! Though not my positivity. :(

I started my day with a bloated belly and stomach pain but that didnt stop me from feeling energetic and ready to tackle a workout before my tests!! I began feeling not so strong but then i got my mind focused and suddenly i was able to increase my weights and felt super strong!!! Thats what lots of food energy and a focused mind does :)

^^ that bloat ;);) hahaha and thats when i havent even eaten anything.
Sooo... DONT panic about bloating, i look 5 times worse in the evenings ;););)

Then i headed to school and began with the first 2 parts of the test. Those 2 hours just flew by and i sat working hard, my brain just knowing what to do. Though of course, its called a test for a reason... because it is testing and challenging. Afterwards i didnt know how to feel... i just wanted to forget about maths, not think about what i had just written, not compare my answers to what my friends wrote. Because in the end... its too late to change a wrong answer. I wrote what i thought was right and well, who knows what the right answer is!! We had an hours break which passed far too quickly before it was once again back in the aula for another 2 hours which once again passed quickly and this time the questions were alot more challenging. Certain questions i had to sit and think for a full 10 minutes, write many different notes and calculations just to wrap my head around the question as they were so abstract and some questions i had to just leave blank as i had forgotten the formula or method.

When i walked out of the aula i felt anything but positive. I wanted to bury myself in a blanket, roll into a ball and refuse to ever do maths again. Refuse to get my results back because I just dont want to know.  (You might be thinking drama queen... but i do put alot of pressure on myself to do well, and because maths is a subject which i am 'good' at, well then i actually want to do well.) To make myself feel better i went to the shop to see if they had the new quark summer limited edition flavour - which they did! - as well as some other delicious snacks which would help cheer me up :)
  And the snack did help cheer me up :) When i got home it started to thunder outside which is something i find super cosy!! I love when there is thunder outside because then i just wrap myself in a blanket and can lie and watch some series and listen to the thunder outside!!
 So since i came home i have eaten several times and began to catch up on the series Revenge!! I havent activaly followed a series since January! I havent had the time for it so all the series i used to watch there are MANY missed episodes which now when the school work is beginning to lessen i will have time to watch :) And it's nice.... but what is most nice is to think that i have survived the stress, overcome all the 101 assignments and deadlines i have had the past few weeks. I knew i could survive it, but when you are right in the middle of it you feel like you are suffocating from the work and the stress is driving you crazy. It's not over yet.... but there is ALOT less work which is nice :) Its manageable and not stressful work anyway :)

Âfternoon snack (& some more)

Êvening snack!

And only 17 days until my graduation!!!! And hopefully my heels will arrive tomorrow or Monday - i cant wait to try them and crossing my fingers that they fit!!

P.s i wont share the proteinfluff recipe because i DONT recommend it to anyone who is recovering or trying to gain weight. It takes up ALOT of room in your stomach... and when you are trying to gainweight  you should be eating more calorie dense food.
& a side not i pretty much never feel full as my stomach size is super large XD so protein fluff is both delicious and fills me up - as well as eating other things with it :)

1 comment:

  1. Well done for doing your tests! You've done the best you can, just forget it now until the results, I'm sure you've done amazingly!

    Your snacks look delicious as always. What flavour is the quark? And are they pancakes in the second food picture?