Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, May 16, 2015

Dealing with comments - Being told you look healthy when you still need to gain weight (masterpost)

In recovery most people would prefer if nobody comments about their body, their food or anything that could trigger them, however its almost unavoidable. There will be people who comment about your food intake and who comment about your appearance.

With the food comments, if you get ones telling you that you eat alot, then just tell them that you are following your meal plan and eating what your body needs at the moment. Remind them that everyone is different and needs different amounts... it wont help if that thought gets stuck in your head, that you are eating too much and makes you decrease your intake. Instead remind yourself and the person who commented just how silly and unnecessary there comment was. You are eating the food your body needs... who cares if someone thinks thats alot. If that is what your body needs, then who are they to judge.

When it comes to dealing with comments about your body or appearance these comments can often be the most triggering. The comment which most people in recovery might hear is that they are looking healthier or, they are looking bigger.

With the first comment, your mind might take this comment and make it into something negative, a form of insult. But look at it rationally, they are telling you that you are looking better now compared to a few weeks/months ago. Basically its a confirmation that what you have been doing - gaining weight, eating more (?) - is making you look better and healthier. What is the negative in that? You might not feel or see it, but others can see if that you are looking better.
  Remind yourself that HEALTHY is the goal. Its not something negative or something that  should make you want to eat less or go back to losing weight. This is a confirmation that your hard work is making you look better.
  And so what if you still have a few kilo to gain... many might panic and think, 'if i look healthy now or look bigger now, then why do i still need to gain weight? How will i look then?' . I had these exact some thoughts when i was in recovery and still quite a bit underweight (had roughly 7-8kg to gain) and i had one or two people tell me i looked healthier. This sent panic signals in my head.... i thought i would be overweight and huge when i had gained those 8kg. But what i now realise is that they were not commenting on my body, but on the fact that for the first time in months i smiled, i actually talked. (i got the comments while i was an inpatient at Mando). The whole time that i was at Mando i sat silent, filled with anxiety and hate. My skin was pale and dry, hair was brittle and thin, lifeless.... but suddenly i had more energy. I was told i was getting a sparkle in my eyes and was looking more like a person again.... it took me a very long time to actually realise that these comments were compliments and not something negative.
  But it shows you how your eating disorder changes something positive to negative - which it does in most aspects of your life.

You need to realise that gaining a few kilo wont make a difference, and so what if you need to gain like 10kg and someone has told you that you look healthier. That is a COMPLIMENT. They arent commenting about your body or saying you look fat, they are saying that you look like you have more energy, your skin or hair might look better, you might actually be smiling.... its those things. Not your body.
  So if someone tells you that you look healthy, take it as a compliment and give yourself a pat on the back for all your hardwork. That someone actuallly see's a difference and thinks that you look better now? Isnt that great?!!

And then when it comes to getting comments like...'you look bigger' First off, they are unnecessary and the person who said it obviously doesnt think before speaking. It can be hard to shae this type of comment off, it can get stuck in your head like repeat. But you need to realise that one person commenting like this shouldnt matter to you. And bigger isnt a bad thing, they arent saying you look fatter, just that you have changed... but that change is necessary in recovery. You DO need to gain weight, whether you accept that fact or not, your body will change.... and people might comment about it. But you need to just not care about those comments. (I know its easier said than done!) But dont let your eating disorder take a comment or compliment and keep it turning round and round in your head. Instead, think of other thoughts. Remind yourself that you need to change, that your goal is healthy and you need to stay focused on your goal. Dont let people stop you or make you relapse, you are stronger than that!!

I know its tough with comments, but it can help to say to the person what you think/feel if their comment was rude or unnecessary!! It can stop the thoughts from haunting you if you tell the person directly that it was unnecessary with that remark!

Below are some other helpful posts:

Getting comments about your appearance
How to deal with unsupportive/Mean comments
Worrying about what others think about your body
Getting food comments
Eating more than others
Dealing with food comments


  1. how many kg did you gain per month while your time at mando? and how was is at home?

  2. This is a really helpful post. Definitely hate when people say I look healthier. But this is so true. I think of how I looked before and realize that most people aren't attracted to the"sick" look. And, to be honest, once you reach a certain weight, any extra from there that's still within a healthy range is something we notice, but others don't. People notice fluctuations in extremes. Kind of like haircuts. A 200 pound person who loses weight to be 150, or a 90 pound girl who gains to 116 pounds. People notice that. And extra 5 or 10 pounds from there to reach a goal weight is something we might notice, but doesn't mean now we look healthy any more gain is unacceptable. I'm trying so hard not to let the healthy comments get to me. I think what helps the most is realizing that I am more whole, have more energy. And realizing (even though this should be less of a motivator)that guys generally prefer healthy girls. Also, just because you are at a healthy weight, doesn't mean you're overweight. You might be outside of the range you had when sick. But that is by no means the determination of a "health guideline".

  3. Hi Izzy!
    Thank you for an amazing blog, you're a big inspiration! I have a question. I have been very very stressed lately and when I'm stressed I loose my appetite. I think I have read on your instagram that you have had the same problem. How do you deal with it? Because one part of me says "you've to eat so you don't loose weigh" but another part says "Don't eat! You're full!". What should I do?


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  5. just wrote two posts on the same topic- triggering comments- on my blog. Maybe you want to have a look at it. :)