Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email: lifewithoutanorexia@hotmail.com

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Sunday, May 17, 2015

Being judged by my past and putting myself into the 'recovery community' (thought post)

Something which i have thought alot about today is how people are judged alot on social media... some people would say that once you post something, well then its there for everyone to see and everyone to judge. Its part of the deal, which is true... but its also true that not everything has to be voiced.

I am part of the 'recovery community' because of my blog and other social media and because i am open about my past it means that i am also judged because of it. In both positive and negative ways. For example, i post that i eat chocolate and i get told that "i am strong", "i am inspirational", "i am a role model". Nobody comments on the fact that i eat chocolate 5 days a week (Not always, but sometimes this happens where i have 1-4 squares of chocolate 4-6 times per week!). Nobody tells me that i should watch my sugar intake or is it really healthy for me to eat chocolate that often? Instead i am told that i am inspirational because i do it.
  But if it was someone else they would questions or comments like 'Its not healthy to eat chocolate that often.' or 'arent you trying to be healthy' 'you shouldnt eat chocolate/sweets so often' etc etc

Just like if i post a cola zero or i were to post about a detox or detox teas or if i post that i use stevia instead of sugar, i get questions such as... 'why dont you drink normal cola' 'why do you use stevia instead of sugar?' but if it was a 'normal' person there would be no questions asked. (generally speaking).

I have put myself in the recovery community as I have choosen to help as well as being open about my past. But sometimes i get so tired of being judged just because of my past.... I am not in recovery. The recovery rules dont apply to me. I have mentioned this several times, but when you are in recovery you dont follow the same 'norms/rules' as other people... You do need to rest alot, you need to eat more, you need to eat more of certain food to face your fear foods etc but when you have a healthy mind and a healthy body then you eat more freely. I dont personally believe in certain diets such as LCHF or HCLF but i dont see why a person who has recovered from an eating disorder can't try things such as vegetarianism, veganism (as long as they are honest about why they want to eat vegan) or things like paleo. But also, everybody works differently... some people funciton better with less carbs and more fat and some people function best with 80% carbs... its all very different and if it is healthy for the individual then who is to say otherwise.
 
Remember to see me as the healthy and normal girl I am NOW... not who i was. Not every decision i make is based on my past. Just because i once had an eating disorder doesn't mean i still have it... Somedays i eat more, somedays less, some times i eat more of certain things other times i eat less of certain things. (Something which i also feel like mentioning because i have gotten quite a few questions about... why i eat celery? Because it is freaking delicious!!! Strange, because i used to absalutly hate it. But a few weeks ago i tried it again and since then i think i have eaten celery 3-5 times a week because its soo good... and right now i am in a celery phase. It has got nothing to do with calories or any of that!! Would i really combine celery with roughly 100g salted nuts and chocolate if eating little was my goal? Not really. )

It is a little hypocritcal of me though to say that i dont want to be judged because of my past when i am infact open about my past... as well as my readers and followers (??) being in recovery/sick. So I am going to be judged by your own views, how you are feeling... i.e if you are sick or feeling jealous of others then its easy to presume that if someone only eats salad and chicken for lunch that suddenly they are on a diet, when infact that person just wasn't so hungry, but you see it from your own perspective, from what your mind tells you and can't see things from the acutal persons perspective. Ex.... when i was being judged for doing alot of cardio/running and was told that i was trying to burn off food and only ran because i ate chocolate, when i was running because i enjoyed it and because i was training for my half marathon. It says more about the state of mind of the person who commented than me... it shows that the person who commented might not have a healthy relationship with food or exercise because they only think that a person would run because they are burning off calories, or they only eat chocolate because they have exercised.....
 ^^If that makes sense.


This is just some of my thoughts, it might not be comprendable or make sense but i felt like writing it anyway!!!

And to summarize... remember i am healthy and 'normal' so try to not judge me or my actions based on my past because those 2 things arent linked!!


7 comments:

  1. I completely understand where you are coming from. It's like you want to be treated as if you never had an eating disorder in the first place right? Me too.

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  2. This is a really important topic that is often overlooked! Great post, really honest and deep!!!! Love u;)

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  3. So, what do I do in my situation... I am almost recovered from anorexia. My weight is considered "healthy" but I don't have my period yet and I have early osteoperosis. I know that my hormones are out of wack and lots of exercise wont help them recover.... but I feel like I have to run and the only thing that is making me feel this way is because my mom is so freaking skinny and works out almost every day and eats really healthy and rarely sits down. Its as if she has an ed although I know she doesn't. Anyways, I always feel like she can never get more exercise than me. help?

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  4. I really appreciate this post...and I can definitely relate. When I was in Belgium on an exchange, I went for a run after eating some chocolate, and my host family was laughing at the fact that I was trying to burn off the calories. No. That wasn't the case at all. I'm an athlete, and I'm training for my track meet at school. I would have gone for a run regardless of whether of not I ate the chocolate. Recovering from an ED is hard enough, without being judged by others :/

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  5. Great post! I can definitely relate, I love your blog, its very open and honest.
    I recently started my own Blog, and I talk a lot about Eating diorders/mental health, so if you have time please check it out! xo

    http://www.libertylifeandselfhelp.com/

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  6. brilliant post Izzy, you are so insightful!

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