Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Monday, April 13, 2015

What a strange day

Good evening :)

Today has been such a strange and never ending day. I have been awake for a little less than 12 hours but this morning feels like a lifetime ago. The time has passed quickly and i really havent done that much but it's still felt like a lifetime.

Today i felt excited and motivated to finally be back to the gym since Thursday however on my way to the gym i felt how the energy wasnt really there and neither was the motivation. I couldnt quite think of what exercises to do or what seemed fun. As i was on my way there i thought i might as well go there and see how it goes, usually my motivation increases by 100% once im actually at the gym. (So the days where i am 100% motivated once i get to the gym i am like 200% motivated XD) However neither my motivation or energy increased so after 15 minutes where the weights felt heavy, my body wasnt really co operating i decided to just call it quits. What point is there trying to force myself to workout when my mind is just saying 'no no no' and my body is screaming 'why does 5kg feel so heavy?'. So went back to the changing room, and headed home. Not feeling like a failure or disappointed though it did feel a little strange that i had so little energy. So now i am trying to figure out why i felt that way it could be for many reasons though (i.e increased cardio the past week, might have eaten less as i have spent time with A, increased stress and anxiety & too many thoughts at the moment.)
   So when i came home i made myself a big lunch and some snacking to make sure that i am getting enough energy and fuel so that tomorrow hopefully will go better.

Since then my aunt has come over for coffee and we have talked about our upcoming travels. As i mentioned last year our plan had been to do a 2 week guided tour of the West coast of USA this autumn however we never booked tickets as things were so unclear about my studies this autumn. So now when things are a bit more clear and we were going to book tickets we saw that the prices had doubled and so is a bit out of our limit, but thats ok. Instead my aunt said that we could travel somewhere within Europe this autumn and then sometime in 2016 we will do the guided tour in the USA. I amnt disappointed by this, of course i would love to travel to the USA as soon as i can, but you know what.... that's life! And instead we have decided (and almost) booked tickets to Lisbonne this autumn :) It looks super cosy and nice there and i can't wait!!! I have never been to Portugal so it will be exciting to be in a new country and to spend some time in the warmth and to experience and see the new country!!

I have also gotten some studying done today, not as much as i had hoped for but the time has just flown by today (its already taken me 30 minutes to write this far as i have been doing 10 other things at the same time!)! But my plans for this evening, watch a series episode or two and enjoy some Ben and Jerrys!!! Sounds like a super plan to me :)

I hope you have all had a nice Monday and have a lovely evening/day :)

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