Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

My life at the moment is completely different to how it once was. I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia and depression as well as struggling with self harm and overexercising. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
And since 2012 i have been declared healthy from my eating disorder.

I have been blogging for 7 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I now blog about recovery, my life, veganism and positivity!

If you have any questions leave them in the comment section as i am much quicker at answering there, otherwise you can always send an email:


Saturday, April 18, 2015

Scared of conflict

Something which i absaloutly hate is arguing and conflicts. I am the type of person who will avoid arguements as much as possible and will keep to myself and not anything just to not become provoked and to say something back. Ever since i have been little critique, arguments or conflicts has made me want to curl into a ball and not do anything anymore. But i get stuck in my head, that one argument just plays on repeat in my head and i can't let go of it..... so today when my sister and I started arguing it made my mental state go from 80 to 30..... Now i just feel awful, i want to curl into a ball and cry. I dont want to see anyone, not even my boyfriend :( It gives me so much anxiety when i am part of arguments - thats why i rarely am. I dont often get angry and can easily keep myself calm and try to avoid arguments and situations where there might be arguments.... even overhearing arguments within my family or with friends gives me anxiety :(

Is anyone similar to this? Do you have any good tips on how to overcome this....

For me i have ended up cleaning. I couldnt focus on my studying because all that was going on in my head was what had just happened.... though cleaning was something i did alot of when i was sick. I was OCD with it because it helped me cope with my thoughts and emotions, and this pedantic and OCD cleaning isn't good, its not even helping my thoughts anyway.

I felt i needed to write out my thoughts, it always helps me. And now i am going to take some moments for myself, try to cheer myself up because A is coming soon and i dont want to still be in this mood when he comes. So now time for waffles and some good music!!! Hopefully that will cheer me up :)

How are you spending your Saturday? :)


  1. Hi Izzy!
    I´m sorry you had an argument with your sister and that it kind of ruined your day.
    I´m kind of the same, I absolutely hate arguments and very often I keep playing something someone said or did in my head over and over again. This might last several days. Also if I get angry with someone I never really confront them, I just keep all in and just keep my distance.
    Luckly I have my father who I can always talk to about anything. I often tell him about what made me angry and he gives me the best advice. And also he keeps reminding me that I´m a bit too sensitive to what people say and do. And that I care too much and read too much into peoples sayings.

    Maybe you have someone to talk to, maybe your boyfriend? Or could you make peace with your sister? Hope you get this sorted out :)

    1. Thank you so much for your advice :) I think talking to someone is a good idea. It did help a little when I talked to my boyfriend, but I hate seeming like im complaining!

  2. I am the same way. I absolutely hate arguments and conflict and whenever there were arguments in my family, which isnt often at all but still, i couldnt even hear it so i just closed my ears and lay on my bed. And with the cleaning im the same way, its a way to focus on something else instead of thinking of the argument. Sometimes running helps. Just know that you will make up with your sister and it will all go back to normal. Waffles sound great! Hope everything turns out okay :)

    1. The good(?) Thing is that I know that when I argue with my sister it will blow over in a day or two, with friends it always worse. Though I have never had any arguments or serious arguments with friends!!!

  3. I used to clean obsessively & had other OCD symptoms, or I would go for a run, or block out everything around me (including people) by shutting them out - - if I couldn't face my overwhelming emotions and things got too much.

    It is hard. I hate conflict and arguments & I am super sensitive to others emotions.

    I do hope you find positivity again, and writing things down does help Xx

    1. That's how I feel as well, but I'm feeling a little better now anyway. Though there is definitely some weird tension which makes it harder to forget and move on!!

    2. Also, sometimes it's good to actually face the problems and emotions. Not just run from them, it can help you become stronger!

  4. I am the same way and I think it might be because everytime i end up in an argument or disagreement i jump to the conclusion that it is my fault. That I'm always the one who did something wrong or hurt someone else and i feel super bad! I always feel that people always think the worst of me, when in reality it is probably all in my head. if my parents are in a bad mood i feel like it is my fault and I always feel that I am in the way. Like, if my mum is a little tired after work and complains that it is messy at home in my head it goes "messy house -> why cant you clean up?! -> you cant to anything! -> you're a failure and suck as a daughter". When in reality she is just tired and a little annoyed that the kitchen is messy, because no one likes to come home to a messy home, especially when they're tired.

    I just try to remind myself that i read to much in to things, its probably all in my head and/or i talk to my family about it. Long comment, but I hope it made sense.
    HAve a nice saturday night :)

    1. I feel the same way. And thank you for the advice! I think talking to someone is the best :) I hope you have a lovely sunday!