Life without Anorexia

My motto is
'Dont let the sadness of your past & the fear of your future ruin the happiness of your present'

I am a generally happy girl who loves running, going to the gym and eating food!! Though my life has been very different.
I spent 5 years sick with anorexia nervosia & purging tendencies & over exercising. I was depressed and self harmed. I spent 2 years in different treatment centres.
After alot of struggles, lots of ups and downs, suicide attempts, tears, anxiety, panic and never thinking i would be healthy.
I am now declared healthy from anorexia nervosia.

I have been blogging for 4 years, and my whole journey is written in my posts. I now represent healthy and happiness. I want to show anyone struggling that it is possible to recover, no matter how hard it may seem.

I am happy and healthy and living my life. Going to school, meeting friends and trying to find myself in this world.

I write about my daily life, but also try to write posts about how it was when i was sick, advice and tips.
I am open and friendly, so dont be scared about writing a post or sending me an email at:


Sunday, April 26, 2015

Post run day - hunger and tiredness

The day after a long run is usually when extreme hunger and tiredness hit in. Also due to other things like hormones and the fact that i slept very restlessly last night.
   First off it was breakfast followed by a short walk in the sun (I should have mentioned this in my running post, but i find that going for a walk the day after a long run can help with recovery time... just like the day after i do leg day i usually try to do some form of cardio. It makes the blood flow easier - or so i have understood it, but it helps me anyway!). Then it was time for another snack followed by several cups of coffee, water and a few tbs of peanut butter. Sat and let my food digest thinking i needed to just give it time... but nope, the hunger was distracting me so i couldnt work and there wasnt much food at A's place so i decided to head home and fill my stomach with food before i started studying.
  Since ive come home i have done about 20 minutes studying, the rest has been spent eating or resting... feeling both mentally and physically tired today as well as my stomach being a black hole. (Though it seems to have filled up now after eating several crisp bread with spread, a few handfuls of nuts and a bowl of yoghurt with raisins!)

Soon its party time and i am actually feeling a little excited! I am not planning on drinking as its Sunday and well... who wants to feel intoxicated while at school the next day! The theme is 'Red Carpet' so i have one dress in mind... though with strength training it means getting 'bigger' and so i am not sure if the dress will fit me anymore... The only downside of strength training. hahaha. But i would much rather be 'bigger' (btw, i know i am not big! I hope this does not trigger anyone.) , strong and healthy than fit into a size X.

For now, i feel my mental energy coming back so time to sit down for an hour or so and get at least a little work done!

How are you spending your Sunday? :)

 Here you see yesterdays afternoon snack!
The brownies were a success... both my family and A agreed, as well as myself. But i love most sweet & chocolate things :)


  1. Nothing wrong with a rest day :-) Will you show us the dress? Have a wonderful day, izzy

    1. I usually have 1-2 rest days per week :) they are important as well and I am usually more hungry on rest days than workout days! if I fit into the dress I will :)

  2. Izzy my dad recently came back into the family picture and he blames me for my anorexia. He's constantly making me feel totally depressed, he honestly thinks I chose to have an eating disorder. I don't know what to do it's really interfering with maintaining a positive mood in recovery. Any advice? I feel trapped.

    1. Ask him if he also believes that people with cancer chose to become sick! Well, maybe you shouldn't really ask him that, but he needs to understand that it is a disease, and not your fault! Tell him how you feel - that he's making you feel trapped and sad. Maybe he'll understand and realize that he's not helping the way he's behaving right now.
      Wish you the best of luck, hun <3

    2. I am so sorry that your dad is saying things like that, but it is important to remember that he is not true. That you have not chosen this illness, however you can choose recovery. Just like the anonymous above said, i would recommend that you remind him that people dont choose cancer or diabetes or any other illness, so why would you chose this illness. If it was just as easy as choosing or not choosing the illness then nobody would be sick or dying from the illness. If your dad hasn't been in the picture, then he has no right to come back and start making you feel i suggest you talk to him or talk to someone else around you who can support you and make you feel better. But tell your dad that what he is saying is hurting you and doesnt help you, he might not understand that his words are hurtful. And if he doesnt change then maybe try distance yourself from him if it is possible. You should surround yourself with positivity and people who will help you. Stay strong.

  3. My dad used to be like that as well -and he's a doctor. I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Maybe try to get him to come to a therapy session with you so you can express yourself in a safe space with some back up. Maybe explain how environment can be really triggering, and how you know he really cares about you and you would love if he could play a sportive role in your recovery rather than a negative one. It's so hard for parents because they see what you're doing and it makes them feel out of control, so they can respond in a hurtful way rather than a helpful one. Maybe your treatment team (if you have one) could point him in the direction of some of the research that's been done on anorexia that explains it's not a choice. I wish you the best. Ultimately, you might not get the support from your father that you need, so focus on getting that super from other family friends and remove yourself from your dad's negative comments the best you can. Maybe try explaining how you feel to another family member and see if they can act as a buffer when your dad starts making uneducated/hurtful comments