For example i feel good eating freely, eating the foods i crave when i crave them. I feel good going for walks and runs as well as strength training. I am not an athlete and i dont have a goal of having a body fat of 8% or having super muscles or a visible six pack. So i have no reason to be super strict with what i eat or how i train. My goal is to be happy and healthy and by continuing to live life like i am doing then i am achieving that goal.
Being free from obsessive, restrictive, compulsive and controlling habits around food and exercise is wonderful. To not worry that eating some chocolate or a whole bar of chocolate will make me gain weight and if i do gain weight - so what, it's not the end of the world. If i were to keep gaining weight for some reason, say that i did begin overeating and consuming too many calories, well then i know i how to lose weight, not that weightloss or weight gain are 'easy' but the how to's arent so hard. I dont weigh myself so i really wouldnt know what my weight is and it is not something i need to worry about either. As long as i am energetic, happy and healthy then plus or minus a few kilo doesnt matter to me.
Food is energy and fuel, it is what keeps humans alive and going. It is what gives species the energy to live and to move forward, without it you won't come far. There is no need to be too rigid or extreme with eating or exercise. The basics is to find what works for you, some people might find that eating paleo or vegan or low carb suits them and that is fine. Just like for me it works to eat freely and to eat several meals a day, for others bigger and fewer meals a day works for them. There is no right and wrong, but your focus should be Health and Happiness. Not just trying to have a flat stomach or a super low body fat procent, because those things dont last, however if you are continuously working on your health and happiness those things WILL last and will last until the day you die. But a flat stomach and low fat procent, those things wont last or bring happiness.
Find what works for you. ask yourself is it really necessary to count every gram or calorie? Weigh every morsal of food or only be allowed certain foods certain days or times? Ask yourself is what you are doing really making you healthy or happy? If not... then make a change.